Can We Get a Re-do?

If Only...

(how the dialogue could've gone in that last scene)

Benson

I tried, Ed.

Tucker

Not completely. You've been holding me at arm's length because you're scared, because you talked yourself into believing it wouldn't last.

Benson

I have this little boy. And he needs all my love and all my attention.

Tucker

He has to be your priority right now. I get that. I do. And I agree. But you and Noah, you're my priority.

Benson

I can't ask you to wait for me.

Tucker

Listen. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was asking you to give up your job before you're ready. That's not what I was saying. I know how important your job is to you. Work forever if you want, Liv. I will wait. I want to wait. I don't want to lose you, abandon everything we've built, because I'm ready and you're not.

Benson

You wouldn't be happy like that.

Tucker

I'm not going to be happy if I walk away from this.

Noah (off camera)

Mommy! Mommy!

Benson (looking back toward the sound of Noah's voice)

Bedtime

Tucker

Yeah

                                 **Tucker turns to leave

Benson

Do you want to help with that tonight?

Tucker

Yeah I do

**fade to black

18.8: Losing #Tuckson

The Case In 188 Words

I don't need 188 words. The nanny took Theo. Obviously.

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words (#Tuckson Elegy)

The next episode is entitled "Decline and Fall," but that moniker applies to so much of Season 18, at least what we've seen so far. Last night's episode delivered a heart-stopping gut punch to the legions of fans who have witnessed #Tuckson's relationship evolve over fifteen seasons. My emotions are a mess this morning, and my heart, like the hearts of so many fans across the globe, is absolutely shattered. Tuckson's swift decline and fall lasted merely eight episodes (only three of which actually included Tucker) and left us scratching our heads in an attempt to dissect what relationship challenges were wrapped up in the word "complicated." While the formerly contemptible Captain Ed Tucker grew into a multi-layered and likable character, Olivia Benson's puzzling regression drifted far from the characterization that had been so carefully cultivated, with precise continuity, for almost two decades. The show is bigger than #Tuckson, but the relationship had come to symbolize a more robust, balanced Benson who discovered, as Munch put it, "more to life than SVU." Sadly, the writers and new showrunner have imposed a limit on Olivia's "more." The depth and breadth of her happiness is apparently finite, and, while discontent exists on several levels, that ceiling troubles me the most.

Theories about #Tuckson's origins abound. After "Internal Affairs" (S15), former showrunner Warren Leight asked in a tweet if anyone shipped Tucker and Benson. At the time, the idea was mostly met with snickers and derision. After all, Tucker had just spearheaded an undercover sting which nearly resulting in Brian Cassidy's death and had been a thorn in SVU's side for most of his appearances. The episode included a semi-private, semi-sassy #Tuckson exchange that highlighted both characters' gravitas and sense of duty. Even though they were still adversaries at this point, the conversation uncovered a latent mutual respect and understanding. Leight once described Tucker as a "real man," and as the Lieutenant stepped into the elevator and watched then-Detective Benson walk away, his unmistakable self-assured masculinity oozed from the screen.

The gradual #Tuckson detente began during Season Fifteen. Sergeant Benson followed protocol and called Tucker the night teenagers shot at Amaro's house. We got a glimpse at the human side of Tucker when he admitted he would've done the same thing (go after the kids with a baseball bat) or worse. During Post-Mortem Blues Tucker's face softens when he wishes Benson luck after she insists on telling the truth about the death of William Lewis. From there, austere Tucker returned for a few seconds in Producer's Backend, but, off camera, he gave Amaro his shield back (most likely due to some sly Benson maneuvering). At any rate, you could see the increasing levels of respect and trust forming between the two characters. Then..."I think you should try the bourbon." Smirk. Cocked eyebrow. Sail on, #Tuckson ship!

The point of this very brief history is to review how carefully the Leight years' writers laid the track for this pairing. It moved along at a slow but steady pace, with each episode peeling back another layer of Tucker's gruff, formidable exterior. 

As the show delved more into the interplay between the characters' personal and professional lives, part of the show increasingly focused on each individual's recognition of his or her flaws and how they sought atonement. The idea of redemption fascinates me, probably because it is a powerful personal reinvention which requires heightened self-awareness and a humbling willingness to be better. Tucker underwent one of the most redemptive transformations of any character, and it was this, coupled with Benson's implied willingness to let bygones be bygones, that brought the characters within striking distance of a relationship. One of the most heartening pieces of #Tuckson was the broader truth that this could occur--that someone so loathed, so despicable, could actually change for the better, even later in life, and be perceived in a softer, appealing light...and surprise even the most jaded and war-weary of people such as our beloved Olivia.  As much as #Tuckson was sexy and romantic, it was also an incredibly hopeful story--one that should have strengthened and survived until SVU's final take.

Enter Rick Eid.

I hated how the writers had Tucker use "I've never been happier" in that final scene. I liked Tucker's point and the nod to his career--that, as an IAB investigator, he watched people to see who they really are. I THOUGHT he was going to deliver a sincere compliment about Benson's resilience, her strength, and maybe point out their collective strength in a last ditch effort to salvage the relationship or at least leave the door open a little wider to a future reunion. But no. Instead, he came to the realization that her tears that day in Central Park were not tears of happiness. Rather, they indicated an innate sense that #Tuckson had an expiration date.

I think Olivia Benson would be a tricky character to write. Independent and compassionate. Strong-willed yet willing to listen. Confident and poised yet tending to second-guess and scrutinize everything, sometimes to a fault. However, the immutable Benson bugaboo has always been the lack of happiness derived from family. Noah changed that to a certain extent. Insert Tucker. The missing piece.

So why is it that this season, after eight months (we can agree to disagree on the math) of dating, this couple's bonds frayed and disintegrated? #Tuckson successfully weathered successive crises (hostage standoff, heartbreaking child porn case with an NYPD connection, Ed being framed, Mike Dodds' passing...reality television), but they emerged seemingly unscathed, and, not only that, STRONGER each time. Olivia finally met her match--a man with whom she shared many of the same experiences but also someone who was in it for the long haul, who understood how to love her, and who was unwavering in his rock-solidness.

And after all this, they are undone by "it's complicated," we tried, and, oh, Olivia cannot possibly be a mom, a spouse, and a commanding officer all at the same time.

Oh FFS. COME ON.

Why did Tucker seem so weird around Noah in that last scene? Tucker? After almost a year, why would he not call him Ed? This whole fucked up discombobulated season was a tacit lesson in how Olivia Benson was intent on not completely allowing Tucker into the OMB-NPB realm. No living together discussion? Ed isn't watching Noah every once in a while? Leaked proposal photos aside, WE HAD A GOOD THING GOING HERE THE THREE OF US and how did that sweet moment devolve and decelerate into "take care of yourself, Olivia Benson." (I cannot type those words without choking up, btw)

The writers insulted fans (and their OWN work during the Leight years) by implying #Tuckson was something new, that they were still feeling out the relationship. Sure, they've hit some bumps in the road, but after a year they're still trying to squeeze in a businesslike-sounding lunch date? That opening scene--why wasn't Tucker there? Why isn't he more involved in Noah's care? Why the cold-ish "night night Noah" instead of a hug or a tickle or mussed hair? I guess we're supposed to believe Tucker and Noah never bonded in a way that convinced Benson they could be a family? Again, completely ridiculous and out of sync with the storyline. Also, you mean to tell me Tucker had NO PERSONAL BELONGINGS at her place? He could simply take his coat and walk away?

I cannot believe this character would intentionally push aside this man who clearly loves her, is concerned about her and Noah, JUST WANTS TO LOVE HER, AND WANTS A FUTURE WITH HER simply because she doesn't want to retire and he does? Of course Noah needs his mother. But he could have a DADDY TOO! And this crap about we can't fit it in a 42-minute episode is so unbelievably rediculous and cheap and insulting and I might believe it, maybe just a little bit, if I hadn't heard "How is it going with you and Tucker...It's complicated" eight hundred million times in season 18 so far.

I don't like to be frustrated with OMB, but I am frustrated with OMB. And I'm not confident the current situation at SVU headquarters is conducive to me not being frustrated with OMB. Last spring, she was "balanced." She urged Fin to find balance. At that point, Warren told us #Tuckson was having sex ,so I'll extrapolate a little and say they were "dating" then. Where in the hell did that balance GO? And, I've said this before and I'll say it again, do not for one minute tell me Ed Tucker would have given OMB a retire-or-else ultimatum.

The S18 Writers intentionally and WITH MALICE to the fandom and continuity and sense and all human decency had OMB construct walls and make her unwilling to allow Tucker to completely love her and her son. #TucksonUndone.

What a missed opportunity! The fandom craves character growth and change. When those subplots are included, the show pulsates with excitement and energy, but the writers have seemingly obliterated that possibility (although it was hinted that some Rollisi is comin' at us which pisses me off enough for a separate blog post). We never got to see OMB achieve a different kind of balance. We never got to see her play those "new beats" M hinted at last year. I would never suggest she (or anyone else for that matter) needs a significant other; however, in this case, it would have been compelling to see Olivia gradually accept and trust the comfort that comes with unconditional, permanent love and that it was safe to completely share her life, the pain and the bliss, with another person. Mostly, though, we missed the chance to see her thrive, to realize she has a greater capacity to love than she ever imagined, and that she has the strength and ability to be #BadassBenson in all facets of her life. THAT would have sent a beautiful and powerful message.

But we can't do that in 42 minutes.

Damn, I hope this isn't the end of Ed Tucker. Feel free to let CIU and SVU cross paths in the near future and rekindle the #Tuckson flame. DM me on Twitter if you need help with a #42Minutes workaround. Funny how #Tuckson was created within those parameters, yet that same constraint sunk the ship. Also, I think I recall seeing whole hella lot of the Stabler family over the years.

Rick I hate you. Dick, why didn't you just let Ed propose and end the fucking series right there in front of Lady Liberty?

One of the most promising WL quotes I read toward the end of last season was in the article referenced above. He responded to a question about Benson and Tucker by saying, "On what planet does someone as appealing as Olivia Benson not have a spouse in her life?"

We got our answer.

Earth (in the hands of Eid)

18.7-Last Chapter (error intended)

The Case in 187 Words

Tucker tells Benson he wants to spend the rest of his life smelling flowers with her and, presumably, Noah. Benson keeps checking her phone (as if we didn’t know she’s a cop). Tucker presses her to think about their future, but the immediate future calls for Benson meeting Fin at Manhattan’s latest crime scene. Confident about who attacked her, Quinn IDs the rapist as a guy who’s stalked her since college, so naturally the detectives follow up on this tip which leads them to a dead end because the guy has a solid alibi. Meanwhile, Benson and Carisi head to the Garden State to interview retired-cop Cole who has maintained a relationship with the victim since stalker Ray was caught in her closet a few years ago. The detectives get a break from a cigarette butt found outside Quinn’s building; however, the squad knows Wilson didn’t do it, so, duh, it’s Tom Cole. Mrs. Cole rolls on her husband who has kidnapped Quinn and his headed to his brother’s house where he’s holding Quinn hostage. Benson negotiates. Carisi enters. Carisi almost dies. Benson kills Tom. Yawning yet?

My Thoughts in Unlimited Words

DISCLAIMER: I'm madly in love with #Tuckson and also I'm very upset.

I like to think I have created a fairly balanced Twitter timeline for myself, but how in the hell did anyone think this episode was anywhere near acceptable? I scrolled, wide-eyed, at numerous tweets thanking @JulieMartinSVU and @SVUWritersRoom for such an intense episode and WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK? 

I don't even know where to start. 

With the specter of Tucker's retirement looming over Benson, she and the squad dive into this case. But who on Earth really thinks Benson, at episode 7 in this fucked up SVU18 season is going to commit one way or another to walking away? So, what we get is this introspective, contemplative Lieutenant asking Tom Cole about retirement, glancing wistfully at his pleasant suburban surroundings, calling out Carisi for his cynicism, and, closing the door on the immediate possibility of retirement after compassionately counseling Quinn.

So.

The case was solved after the cigarette butt's pristine DNA came back. Duh. Listen. If these writers are not capable of crafting an intricate plot in 42 or whatever minutes, then let me be the first to remind them that two-parters are acceptable (see Manhattan Transfer and Unholiest Alliance) and weaving in season-long threads is a fun way to bolster continuity and keep your audience engaged and excited (see William Lewis and Greg Yates). We knew Carisi wasn't going to die. We knew Benson wasn't going to die. Thanks to episode shuffles we knew a cliff was out of the question...WAIT...there is a cliff...the #Tuckson cliff. But I'll get to that later.

Attempts at continuity and echoes of past demons were so contrived (yes, I know it's fiction and everything is contrived) that they came off as forced and insincere. Carisi and Benson getting into the car outside of Tom Cole's house. Gosh, guys, that reminded me of Carisi, Benson, and Rollins outside of Munson's house. Benson telling Carisi being a cop makes you more of who you already are. I love the Benson wisdom and that sweet moment, but it didn't fit. It was shoved in there. Please recall Benson counseling Dodds after his first hard case when she tells him to go home and talk to somebody he loves. Now THAT'S how you do #OMBWISDOM, people. Finally, not only was I unaffected by the last few minutes, but excuuuuuuuuse me, I cannot believe OMB would let Carisi go, even to get a different exterior angle, especially when she seemed to have a handle, at that point, on talking Tom out of there. Was this, like, OMB's redemption...a re-do in memory of Sergeant Michael Dodds?

UGH.

Now for Tuckson. You know what, I could almost, maybe, with counseling, handle a Tuckson break up if the show was otherwise good but we seem to be headed for an epitaph reading RIP SVU 1999-2017.

Dear Former Showrunner Warren Leight, I wish you and your staff would have gone rogue and somehow aired the ep where Tucker proposed because this Rick Eid person has apparently been sent to sabotage this relationship in which I thought WE HAD NEVER BEEN HAPPIER? 

Let me back up. Once upon a time, Olivia Margaret Benson wanted a family. Not just a child. She seemed to be interested in balance, things in life other than SVU, and also growing old with somebody. Fast forward to 1/4/17. Tucker bares his soul, pours his heart out, essentially says he wants to be with her forever and ever. So, Benson has to choose between her job and love? I don't believe, after ALL TUCKSON HAS BEEN THROUGH, that Tucker would honestly give her a "retire with me or else" ultimatum. He loves her. I'm convinced he loves her. FFS, do these writers BOTHER WATCHING past episodes? But he also understands her. He knows how important she is to her job and how important her job is to her. At least give us a scene at the end where she goes home and articulates this to him. Here's how it could've gone:

Benson

If I realized anything today it's that I'm not ready. Not yet. 

Tucker

Okay

Benson

But that doesn't mean I don't want a future with you. Because I do.

Tucker (kisses Benson)

That's all I needed to hear

They walk to the bedroom as we fade to black.

This is not hard, people. But, not only is it obvious that someone with major pull despises Tuckson, I also think he hates OMB. Dear Benson, here are your options, CHOOSE ONE.

Style Guide

I didn't see anything new and remarkable or, for that matter, anything old and remarkable.

Shocking.

Fic Writers Could Fill in the Blanks With

Creating their own #Tuckson AUs because there's a gaping hole in this ship.

Ain't No Party Like An SVU Watch Party

I didn't even finish one glass of my Jam Jar Sweet Shiraz. And I'm OBSESSESSED with that stuff! So, at least the show sucking is saving me calories.

Quotable

Fin: Please tell me what time the damn meeting ended.

OMB: Let's catch him (Cole) in a lie. Seriously? That's the best ya got, writers? How old is this Lieutenant? Ten?

OMB: Quinn, this is not your fault, you hear me? Guys like Cole, they're predators. They look for light and they look for goodness and they try to steal it. Promise me you will not blame yourself for this. (okay, that was good...see, I can be a little bit objective).

Rollins: You're starting to worry me, Nate.

Rollins and Fin "interrogating" Tom Cole at the diner...not even the ominous background music could make that suspenseful.

Tucker: Hopefully with someone like you. SOMEONE? Fuck that. WITH YOU, OMB!

OMB: Sometimes the answer is as simple as it seems. Ah-hem, um, OMB, gonna needja to look in the mirror and repeat.

be careful be careful, be careful, be careful, be careful, be careful be careful, be careful

retire, retirement, retire, retirement,retire, retirement, retire, retirement, retire, retirement

be careful be careful, be careful, be careful, be careful, be careful be careful, be careful
retire, retirement, retire, retirement,retire, retirement, retire, retirement, retire, retirement

Dick Wolf to Rick Eid: We're riding out one last season. Just get something written and filmed.

Is It Next Wednesday Yet?

Well, at least we get to see Noah next week as he reassumes the role as the only male in OMB's life.

Is jaded Carisi thinking more seriously about moving to the DA's office?

Doesn't Fin have a grandson?

Has Jesse's existence erased all of Rollins' demons?

Where's Chief Dodds?

I feel like we're being set up for a series finale.

At one point Twitter was all agog over Benson in a ponytail. Well, at least that's something.

Stay tuned for an all new This Is Us airing Tuesday, January 10. 9/8 Central.

SVU 18.6: Sophie Knows Best

The Case in 186 Words

A woman is browsing at a market, takes a seat at the café, turns down halibut crostini, and is attacked by a pipe-wielding rapist while freshening up in the restroom. Benson and Rollins show up, attempt to extract info from a witness, but Mommy turns out to be the ultimate victim-blamer and also the worst person on Earth, but, for the time being, SVU picks up the crumbs of evidence and rolls with it. Suspect number one is Logan the boyfriend who lied, and then Hype the gangsta rapper who also lied, and then Cash the goon who lied, and then Vincent Love who lied and then as it turns out Hype was in love with Eva but being in love with a transgender woman conflicts with his rapperness and also with Love’s brand and Eva refused to be bribed so, as it turns out, the attack was a hit, Hype kills Cash, Hype doesn’t listen to OMB (dummy), and everyone loses because Eva was born a boy.

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words

Well SOMEBODY (writer Jeffrey Baker) did his homework and watched a few old episodes because for the first time this season we have an ep written by new dudes and the characters actually sounded like the characters, so maybe this season won't totally suck after all. 

Kudos to the actress who played Sophie because her subtle shade-throwing facial expressions and clear aggravation with her bigoted bitch ass mother were spot on and perfect as was OMB's threat to arrest the mother for obstruction if she didn't snap into 2016 and fucking cooperate and the ONLY other thing distracting me during that scene in Benson's office was a partial view of a Noah photo and I'm assuming we only got a partial view because Tucker was in the other half and seeing that would've obliterated our already-fragile hearts. 

Sorry, Cash, Sponge-Bob-looking tatts will getcha every time.

I complimented the writing earlier but I also hate the writers because, could you not have used a word other than COMPLICATED to describe Logan and Eva? That was probably Rick. There's a really cool site, www.thesaurus.com, please use it, because the next time that word is used on the now it better be in the context of #Tuckson working out child care for a hot date or else...well, I have no threats...or else I'll just whine and complain on Twitter like all good fans.

I wasn't all that impressed with the contrived rapper names...Hype? Cash? Lame-o. But "187 Records" had me doing my best Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg imitations for the next couple days and also thinking about Carisi listening to vulgar rap music makes me smile. Good thing Jesse's not old enough to pick up on that language yet. Yes, Jesse. You didn't think Rollins' little comment about lunch in "Italy" was just tossed in there for no reason, didja? I predict some Rollisi drama before the season's over. One of them will want more and it'll come to a head during #Tuckson's wedding reception.

I went back and forth from muttering "fuck Hype" and "poor Hype" and I must say Mitchell Edwards did a fantastic job going from confused and easily-handled gangsta-rapper-boy to the indignant, stubborn, guy-I-wanted-to-slap by the end. I liked the dig at the hip-hop community and wonder how this would play out in real life if and when it comes up.

I would never suggest we need Tucker in our lives to be happy, but Olivia Margaret Benson is ON POINT in this ep and I'm just going to assume all is well in her personal life.

Style Guide

Purple Velvet Blazer, yes please.

Guys, need an inexpensive yet designer-looking suit? Head to Staten Island.

Fic Writers Could Fill In The Blanks With:

Olivia going home to Tucker and saying, "hey, babe, we're not so complicated after all."

Ain't No Party Like An SVU Watch Party:

Cheers!

Quotable:

Benson to Sophie's Mom: I will arrest you.

Benson and Barba's little exchange about the warrant:
So you'll get me those warrants?
Yes
Thank you.

Fin talking about gender fluidity:
It's confusing, and a lot of people can't make sense of it all.
**This was an extremely important and relevant point. I love that the line was given to Fin and I feel like it was said with genuine honesty, openness, and a willingness to try and understand without being offensive or insensitive. Definitely room for a deeper discussion here.

Is It Next Wednesday, Yet?

Word on the street is that Tucker is in the January 4 ep.

That is all.

18.5: Another BenSON of a Partner...

The Case in 185 Words:

Wannabe

Ellis Griffin arrives at Mom and Dad’s home with an expensive bottle of wine and news that he’s been promoted to fixed income trader at Goldman Sachs. Congrats, brother. So, he heads off to a Halloween party where he spends time on the sidelines but eventually pursues the sister of the girl he dated (once—does that qualify as dating?). We go from “it’s hot in here” to a British witness accusing Ellis of rape and he’s taken to SVU where a bespectacled Benson is all like “Damn, if I woulda left three minutes earlier I’d be heading home to cuddle with Ed and now I’m here. Fuck.” In the meantime, the rape’s going viral and for extra fun the rapist’s dad is the OP—original partner who also covered OMB’s rookie ass three decades or whatever or so ago. Obviously she must simply advise Ellis to stop having sex with unconscious women and send him on his way. Nope. The squad pursues the case. Deal. No deal. Trial. Barba rips apart a fake witness and Judge Barth ships Ellis to prison for twenty-four months.

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words:

Per the Uzh, we'll start with the serious and move to the playful, shall we?

Disclaimer: I am suspicious of all men except for Ed Tucker so Ellis rubbed me the wrong way (ewww) from the get-go even though everyone knew he was the Brock Turner but his smarminess at the party made my skin crawl and my husband made the unfortunate mistake of touching me on his way from the kitchen to the room where I stow him on SVU nights and I seriously took a swipe at him. No joke. He thought it was flirty and I'll allow him to keep thinking that.

My issue numero uno: I was confused at first (and, no, I hadn't even been drinking..much) because, unless this dude is the Doogie Howser of finance, I was pretty sure he was an ADULT and how in the hell can Dad shut down the interview but, ok, he's a cop, and I get that part, but, STILLLLL. 

Instead of getting all pissed off and throwing shade all over Twitter I realized that the writers are really telling it like it is and COPS DO THIS SHIT. In my job I DO THIS (albeit, my professional courtesies are more along the lines of I let somebody skip ahead in the lunch line. Shhhh). 

Thank God, Allah, Jehovah, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (yes, this is a thing, see the November issue of The Atlantic) and everything else and fate and luck that I've never been a victim of sexual assault, but the one person I knew who HAD been a victim DID NOT want to relive it, testify, see the guy, NOTHING. So, I didn't really see anything wrong with the first plea deal. HOWEVER, the way it played out seemed like OMB was pushing for a plea deal and that's not the only moment I thought was a little rushed and perhaps not very well thought out and I hate to type that about people like JM and BY because I love them and want to be them when I grow up. Once again, we have a murky case and I suspect that thread won't go away this season but the murkiness opens the door for clarity and learning and I'm wondering how many men my age were watching the show or women my age were watching the show and reminiscing about college days and wide-eyed thinking.............well, I know I was. I'm not sure that, fifteen years ago when I was in college, many people would've batted an eye at this rape or the Brock Turner rape.  And I'm almost drawing blood biting my lip while I'm typing this because I hate living in a world where we have to teach teenagers these things but I also hate living in a world where when these assaults happen they go unreported and untreated.

Also, sometimes the Internet sucks.

SERIOUS OUT....

I would like to extend and honest thank-you to the writers for not inserting some contrived parallel Noah storyline because the dialogue certainly lent itself to that...."our only son" and "save my son, now matter what, no matter how" and OMB not knowing Patrick had a son in the first place I was waiting for a comeback, such as, "and I didn't know you had one." BTW-anyone catch any new office photos? I forgot to look. And as much as I miss my Noey, I HATE the contrived case-personal life parallels and, yes, I know I'm getting picky and I can't have it all, and I should just go write my own show but I kind of do, see MarigoldMusings on FanFiction.

Anywho, OMB is NOT in a "romantic relationship" with Lucy as far as I know, so Dear Julie Martin and Brianna Yellen WTF couldn't you have her do the whole Siri thing with TUCKER????? GAWWWD. Remember cassette tapes? And kind of how you'd wear them out if you played the same song and rewound it to play it over and over. Goddamn I'm glad You Tube and Hulu don't have a glitch like that FFS. #TUCKSON 

I don't know how defense attorneys (real or imagined) can sleep at night. "Not too anxious I hope?" I hissed at that line. Seriously. I hissed. 

I cannot be the only one who was waiting for OMB to agonizingly reveal she and Griffin had slept together. The tone of her voice, the innuendo, all signs pointed to a little bit of mixing work with pleasure or even, gasp, payback for lying to IAB for OMB, but as it turns out, Patrick was only a contemptible human being when it came to his son. Also, IAB was mentioned way too much and I am certain that is intentional, passive, subtle, #Tuckson torture and I will submit a formal indictment first thing Monday morning.

Style Guide

Leather.

Leather trench.

Leather cropped jacket.

Hargiglasses.

Purple suede blazer that I would risk foreclosure for.

You people are killing me.

But why the Sergeant's badge on OMB? Just looked better against the Hargileather backdrop? Yeah, I thought so, too.

Fic Writers Could Fill In The Blanks With:

This is getting redundant. 

#Tuckson Complications

But, ya know what, I want some Rollins-Benson moments. Nice ones. Not the ones where one of 'em is going rogue and the other one gets pissed.

Ain't No Party Like An SVU Watch Party

Last of this Pumpkin crap. I bet Tucker hates this gimmicky bullshit.

Quotable:

It's not great to have sex like that by the garbage. Ellis, I hate you.

Ellis made a rookie mistake. When will Twitter create the ability to digitally/virtually punch someone in the eye?

His first mistake was humping a passed out girl. Amen, Gramps.

It's complicated. But there was a little grin. A little one. Right? Right? I'm dying here, OMB. 

I'll allow, witness will answer.

I think you already did, son.

JUDGE BARTH!!!!

Also, have I mentioned IAB was mentioned too much for comfort? I can't remember, I'm finishing the pumpkin ale as I type.

Is it Next Wednesday Yet?

Well, yet another Tucker mention with no Tucker and no context and I'm really losing my patience with this relationship because I thought we could never be happier and now we're complicated and I KNOW we're endgame, but I need a status update, a serious one, not just a throwaway mention like we got in this ep and BOBBY BURKE are you on vacay or something? 

Okay, okay, calm down, my prediction/assumption is that OMB and Tucker are just having trouble because of his new job and her redonk busy job and OMB's gonna have a breakdown about wanting to be good at everything and Tucker's gonna just say, "you know what, Olivia Margaret Benson, let's take care of one uncertainty right now" and whip out a ring and propose and there'll be tears but also #Tuckson end game reality and we can go back to fighting sex crimes.

MH did exceptional work in this ep. Her expressions were pained and layered and so raw and real. I think we saw her grow up and turn a corner in this episode; she put a long buried skeleton behind her. And there's a difference between burying something and truly making it a part of the past.

Griffin stubbed out a smoke on the courthouse steps there at the end. Anyone else notice that? Anyone else think about the ELBOW GRAB?

Ok, let's prep for another no-Tucker week, actually, a no-Tucker two weeks with a real election and a fake election mixed in.

Oh goodie.

"No charge."

Rape Kits Are Free.

18.4--JuLine Brings Back SVU

The Case in 184 Words:

Jenna Miller is drunk and clubbing and picking up johns but then she’s on a rooftop ledge in her torn dress. Instead of taking the fatal fall, she coaches herself to leap between two buildings. Later that morning, she’s found by two officers who take her to the hospital. Eventually she discloses that she’d been raped. Jenna’s evasive, so Benson and Rollins dig more deeply and it comes out that Jenna and Chad, her husband, are protecting her brand because she’s a potential 2020 Olympic pole vaulter and if her dalliances come out she’s ruined. As the investigation continues, the detectives find out Michael Wheeler has a pattern of raping hookers. After a controlled meet, Wheeler goes on trial, but…Jenna sort of strips in the courtroom. Rollins goes kind-of rogue once again but Carisi’s with her so no harm no foul and there’s a come to Jesus moment on the track. However, the damage has been done as far as the trial was concerned, Wheeler takes a plea, Jenna goes on meds, and Kim Rollins ends up not fucking up Rollins’ life after all.

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words

After three episodes of what I consider Mr. New Showrunner conducting an "I wonder if they'll like this type of SVU" experiment, thank you Julie and Celine for reintroducing me and a few other people to the show!

Let's start with the serious; then, we'll get a bit more snarky and whimsical, kay?

I rewatched with the intention of getting all snarky about the detectives because they should've noticed the mental illness sooner, riiiiight? Jules and Ce-Ce (my nicknames) did a fabulous job making everyone else look suspicious throughout almost the entire ep. I went from thinking hubs Chad was too overbearing and the Manhattan nights were simply all about Jenna needing to get away from him. Then I thought he was tacitly endorsing the prostitution because pursuing Olympic goals had drained their finances. The agent looked suspicious for a hot second and, call me Ed Tucker, but I thought hmmmm, what if the agent found out what she was doing way earlier than this ep and suggested he would keep quiet if she gave him a cut but then again he's a high-profile agent and wouldn't be all about that chump change but maybe he would be all about the POWER he wielded over her...but that wasn't the reality either.

Jenna being less-than-forthcoming at first and then reluctant to testify did not surprise me one bit. OMB and Rollins were absolutely right to attempt to protect her and also get justice, albeit not the justice a truly non-judgemental less-misogynistic society really should support and encourage. The fact that a victim must risk so much (more) personal loss in order to put a rapist behind bars sickens me, but this is NOT THE SHOW'S FAULT nor is it its creation. It's a challenge for us to get better. When Jenna said "I can't risk the publicity" I STG a dagger lodged in my heart.

Finally, did anyone else catch Chad on the track telling Jenna he'd been protecting her for years? The real problem here was the stigma of mental illness, particularly in professional sports. Chad knew something was going on...he had known for a long fucking time...but her career would have been over sooner if she went public with her bipolar disorder which would have been inevitable because I'm pretty sure the meds would've shown up in mandatory drug tests...right? So, again, if we're looking for someone to blame...the real culprit is societal norms...everything else is tangential. The verdict, while disappointing on multiple levels, was the best Barba could do (considering the jury is made up of people from SOCIETY who may or may not harbor strong feelings one way or another about mental illness and also I don't think Raffie would get to voir dire them again and ask about it). 

Okie dokie, let's pivot to some light-heartedness, run on sentences, incorrect grammar, and other usage errors (sorry, former English teachers). Also, I've already been guilty of all of the above in the first part of the post. IDK why I pay for Grammarly...

KIM! Kimmy Kim Kim. Kelli Giddish makes me crack the fuck up when she forces that little sarcastic smile like she did at the parole hearing and at home when sister Kim was spouting off the "fortune cookie philosophy." If I would've rolled my eyes any more vigorously they would've dislodged from the cornea or retina or whatever nerve thing that makes them stay in there. I was SURE the final scene would be Miss Manipulative being led out of Amanda's apartment in handcuffs as a result of a parole violation and Rollins turning her in because Mama Bear was TAKING THAT FUCKING SHIELD (and, was it just me, or did OMB look kinda pained when she delivered that warning? Simon flashbacks, anyone?). Like, I would've bet MONEY on reoffending Kim (and not, like, $2 MegaMillions Ticket money, either).

I do have mixed feelings about the (too) neat ending and I would not be opposed to the writers not always making the characters' personal stories sync so neatly with the cases. It's starting to feel a little too predictable and contrived, yes I know the whole show is contrived in some ways but stillllllll.....

Barba covering Jenna with his coat and getting some boob action made me LOL at the gym while I was running on the treadmill which made other people give me strange looks but I'm used to it by now. 

Style Guide

I appreciated the squad's BLACKOUT that was hot and also Fin and Liv had on sort-of matching leather-accented blazers which was also hot and also no surprise that I'm fangirling over it because my affinity for leather-accented blazers is not exactly a state secret. 

Jenna wins the gold for the red leather jacket; Santa please bring me one but you're gonna have to go up about ten sizes please and thank you.

Fic Writers Could Fill in the Blanks With

#EveryRelationshipHasItsSecrets

#Tuckson

The conversation OMB had when she went home to Tucker after telling Rollins she would take her shield and also wherever OMB was when they set the trap for Wheeler.

Ain't No Party Like An SVU Watch Party

When I'm the boss or at least in charge of scheduling meetings I will only make people come in at 7:30 on Thursdays on hiatus weeks. Had to take it easy...

Just one...I swear (to prove it, my Tweets were way more coherent).

Quotable:

"For now we work around her not with her."

"We all have a lot of pressure." (spoken by Rollins and followed by Kim Interruptus and we were all like, oh, man, not this again)

"Everything alright with you and Tucker?"

Yeah, ummmmm, what's the answer to that? And, having Carisi ask that question is adorbs, btw.

"It's his dream as much as mine."

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 

Is It Next Wednesday Yet?

After Rollins was sort-of praised or at least not admonished by her boss, she returns home to a reality check because she assumes the worst but actually Kim's been suffering for a long time and she "never asked" because as I think she realizes there at the end, she's always seen her sister as an obstacle and a pain in the fucking ass...anything but a human being. Rollins can be an unforgiving hard-ass and motherhood has intensified that characteristic, but I'm wondering if we'll see a different side of Amanda moving forward, especially if Kim hangs around which is cool with me because I just cannot believe the sisters will skip off happily into the sunset.

Dear Julie and Celine, you are KILLING ME with the most recent #Tuckson reference. COME ON, ladies, that was NOT FAIR and, again, there's not RJB in sight so how long am I gonna have to wait for this resolution? What are these secrets? What's WRONG? OH, wait, I know...it's just that OMB is so busy and so is Tucker, but OMB wants to be a good mother and a good future wife and a good Lieu and she's feeling like someone will get shortchanged and Tucker doesn't deserve that because he's such a good man. OMB! Listen to ME! Tucker said it will last! He said ALWAYS! He said he's not goin' anywhere! LET YOURSELF BE LOVED, SISTER! 

BTW, I'm ok with things being complicated off-screen as long as when Tucker is ON SCREEN it's all unicorns and rainbows and thigh-grabbing. Oh, who am I kidding? Consistently complicated #Tuckson could force me to up therapy sessions to twice a month. Once for real life and once for the fake lives of fake people on a TV SHOW. Surely people seek help for more outlandish reasons????

Please please please can we have the Dodds-OMB convo soon so Liv can get on the path to forgiving herself? Ultimately, I think forgiveness will be the running thread throughout this season...at least in the characters' personal lives.

But, you know what? OMB looks too damn gooooooood to be dealing with any serious relationship troubles. But still, that little scene was Kevin G. Fox evil.

This was OMB in Barba's office in Manhattan Transfer. Similar to the look she gave Carisi. Conclusions?

Is this next ep the purple dress ep? If so, Tucker isn't there and that saddens me because I read this fic about Tucker loving OMB in that purple dress and I was hoping it would become canon. 

Was I dreaming about the Barba threats?

Will Noah get into the fancy school?

Will OMB and Rollins become besties? Also, I looooooooooove the way the squad is interacting with one another. Hearts hearts hearts and I'm SURE we'll get the Christmas Party. I will forgive the #Tuckson tease and also the first three episodes if we get the Christmas Party (incl. Tucker), or Christmas morning with the Tuckers, or (and I cannot take credit for this) but some TucksoNookie, or something more serious which I'm not even gonna type for fear that typing it will ensure it will not come true.

Where's the LOGUE??????????????????????

I'm leading the Rollins-for-Sarge campaign. Hit me up on Twitter if you want a yard sign.

See ya for live tweeting on 10/26; unless, of course, the dueling fandom factions break Twitter.

Peace, ya'll.

18.3--Wasting Time/Eidunno What Happened to OMB

The Case in 183 Words

Overzealous helicopter parent is willing to trade sex in exchange for admission to the suddenly-prestigious Hudson University, but the admissions director isn’t the admissions director so the mother self-medicates and is found unconscious in the tub of hotel room. Someone resembling Olivia Benson convinces Laura Collett that she was raped. Even though Rafael Barba points out that what happened did not amount to a crime under New York law, he takes the case to trial anyway and is verbally smacked around a few times by Judge Bertuccio who basically tells out Raffie that he’s not merely overreached but made an irresponsible decision in prosecuting the case and, oh, by the way, the judge will overturn a guilty verdict if, in fact, the jury reaches that decision. The character resembling Lieutenant Benson is all like, wtf? at this and Barba explains he has no choice but to plea Tom out with misdemeanor criminal impersonation and Benson’s like, well that sucks, and goes off to tell Laura who has bigger problems because her son, embarrassed and publicly humiliated, took a suicidal nosedive from the balcony.

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words

Wait a sec while I take a puff from my oxygen tank...

First of all, I have a VERY FUCKING HARD TIME believing that this over-involved parent had not registered thousands of clicks on Hudson University's website and surely would have recognized Tom Metcalf as a fraud immediately since, well, Tom's white and the admission guy's black, but oh well, I guess Rick Eid and Gavin Harris aren't familiar with the power of the Internet except for that stupid line about a professor's Instagram page almost like they were sitting around and recognized that plot hole and were like, hmmm, maybe those rabid wacko fans won't notice?

Second of all...and hate me for pointing this out if you want, but WHY does everyone just kind of give Laura Collett a pass for prostituting herself out like that? And by not acknowledging THIS reprehensible, immoral, and unethical decision, her son's suicide seems like a warning to people not to come forward after a sexual assault rather than the desperate act of a teenager unable to handle the pressure of extraordinarily intense expectations and the reality that his mother was willing to do something so drastic for something that didn't really matter to him.

And, excuuuuuuuuuuse me for noticing that once upon a time Warren Leight and Company laid the #Tuckson track (albeit surreptitiously at first but thank you very much) and now it seems that Rick Eid is intent on ripping up the rails like General fucking Sherman's troops and I don't like this one bit. LUCY??? LUCY IS TALKING TO NOAH'S TEACHER??? I get it...she's kinda part of the family but THROW US A BONE, DAMNIT! All you had to do was hit backspace four times and replace "Lucy" with ED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, FFS. EFF EFF ESS! For Fuck's SAKE! The few seconds of Noah/Preschool/Language Development Probs/Fancy school was a thinly developed and almost throwaway setup to parallel whole getting into school frenzy that prompted Mommy to fuck the admissions director who was not the admissions director. Are we supposed to assume OMB was going home and concluding that if Noah did not get into a fancy school he'd be a public school vet like Tom and end up having to lie to bed attractive, well-to-do women? But how would we know? We didn't get to see that part because we had to spend time with some greasy-looking doorman whose character had absolutely no point and also we had to keep seeing Judge Bertuccio browbeat Barba for taking this non-crime to trial.

Speaking of the Judge, ok, yeah, I get it, maybe we're headed for a set up where Barba runs for political office and that maybe clouds or changes his judgement and further drives a wedge between him and Benson but this seemed more like a case of Barba unwilling to say NO to Olivia Margaret Benson or whoever that person is. The Barba I know wouldn't have rolled over so easily. 

And while we're on the subject of politics, I seem to remember Chief Dodds snarkily telling Olivia that she didn't have a political bone in her body...OMB is NOT. IS. NOT. someone who pursues an agenda and she spent all fucking episode not only pursuing an agenda but pursuing one that was, simply, unattainable. Even good old Fin was tacitly calling bullshit. This characterization is so far away from what I know that I almost expected the closing scene to be Olivia calling the headmaster of a fictional Dalton school and arranging a little wink-wink nod-nod tryst to secure sweet Noah's future.

Style Guide

The men stole the show here. Both Carisi and Barba were on point with their tailored suits and, damn, I never get sick of anticipating which snazzy tie Barba will wear next. OMB recycled a couple of blazers, but the olivey-brownish getup she sported in the closing scenes is one I shall replicate in the near future. An unbuttoned top button occurred again and if there was a Tucker I'm sure he'd dig that look but apparently RJB is, like, really busy or something so...

Can Amanda just go back to her plaid?

Fic Writers Could Fill In The Blanks With...

#Tuckson's "complicated" relationship because it's kind of hard for things to be complicated when only one half of the ship is included in the writing....

Ain't No Party Like An #SVU Watch Party

I pregamed at my friend's birthday celebration where I seemed to be under the impression that it was my birthday, so...I opened this bottle when I got home but my husband told me I couldn't have any of it. What a drag.

Garnacha

Quotable

"It's too early to be that jaded."

"Next time I'll wait til noon."

(Is the third episode too early to panic?)

"We were happy. At least, I thought we were." 

(Samesies, Mr. Collett)

"How do I look?"

"Like a cop."

(YES, YOU DO LOOK LIKE A COP, MR. SONNY CARISI AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT)

"You know what's overrated? Wireless and putting lemon in water. I don't get that."

#ArtisanPickles

Is It Next Wednesday Yet?

Sometimes, on days that are not Wednesdays, I zone out and look longingly at the calendar and think about the next #SVU episode and all it might offer but right now I'm...not that person. 

3.0 will be end.point.oh if this continues. 

The characters' lives are what made 2.0 so successful and made me, personally, reinvested in the show. I get it...it's a cop show, but these fake people are PEOPLE and seeing them deal with their own personal challenges in addition to the pressures of a sometimes very ugly job made the plots real and helped the audience connect to the characters and the story. 

I can't help but wonder if even the actors themselves have been thrown for a loop with this new approach because I seem to remember MH all giddy and shit about "new beats" to play moving forward and by new beats I really think she meant #Tuckson and not learning a COMPLETELY NEW CHARACTER.

I am so beyond annoyed at the absence of #Tucker I am literally concerned that I'll damage my keyboard because I'm typing so forcefully. I'm starting to believe that Terrorized might be the peak of S18 #Tuckson and the new guy is content with just leaving that relationship as kind of an off-screen thing and that REALLY PISSES ME OFF and not just because RJB is freaking gorgeous. 

So they mentioned Carisi's #lawyergoals and the banter between him and Rollins was probably the best part of the episode; however, Carisi this season and at the end of last season seems to be really into being a good cop but maybe he'll step into Barba's role if and when Raf runs for office? Or when he gets killed because, again, WAS HE OR WAS HE NOT THREATENED BY SOME BX9 THUG IN THE S17 FINALE? Seriously, ya'll. I swear that happened.

Errrrrybody hold on to your expensive band instruments. KIM'S outta prison. However, if her appearance follows what seems to be Rick Eid's MO, it'll occur in the opening scene for a twenty-or-so second spot, and sort of affect Rollins' perspective throughout whatever uninteresting case Eid's people come up with but otherwise be a non-issue and we'll never hear from or about her again. In Eid's office I bet he's covered a wall with WL's characters and beloved storylines and Eid spends a few minutes each day blindly throwing darts at the wall and whatever is hit is what he'll destroy next. Random, because, the season so far is random and also because the shuffling of episodes after they've already been filmed sort of works against continuity. Insert one dozen angry emojis here.

At the very least, MH/OMB has looked HOT this season and maybe that's another read-between-the-lines thing because she's so happy and in love and oh gawwwwwwwd here I go with #Tuckson again.

Where the hell's the rest of that wine?