XX.XII: Infinite Stone

The #42Minutes

SVU is called to a scene and the detectives quickly recognize the signatures of the Infinity Rapist, a man who terrorized New York City in the 80's and 90's. Carisi discovers Ben Stone's name on the old case files and little Ben Stone becomes obsessed with closing the case once and for all. After locking up a copycat, Carisi uses SVU's version of Ancestry DNA to find a familial match on the sample recovered from the old evidence. They're temporarily stymied when the judge tosses the evidence, but they pick up the perp (Uncle Edgar) on some type of traffic charge or unpaid tickets or something like that (I can't remember, I was dozing off by that time and I want to rewatch about as much as I want to go to the dentist) and Benson and Stone dramatically read and ruminate on letters and cards in front of him until he confesses.

Take a fuckin key, will ya?

On the home front, Noah's all bent out of shape because Jeremy's bugging him about not having a Dad and Benson handles the difficult conversation beautifully...and then, after leaving work early to spend some quality one-on-one time...sends him out to play catch with Stone. Chances are, when they return, she'll be three quarters of the way through a bottle of red because, what else to do?

Bye, Edgar.

Verdict

Oh, let's see...

Since I'm uninterested (to put it mildly) in Stone, watching an entire episode devoted to a case concocted purely to display more of his anguish was close to intolerable. That we were supposed to believe he'd harbored anger at his father all these years for missing baseball stuff because he was chasing down the rapist was...insulting? Annoying? Frustrating? A waste of #42Minutes?

Since the whole Stone thing was invented last season, I guess it would have been challenging to actually make the episode about an old, unsolved SVU case, but it certainly would have made it more appealing. I just cannot buy into his heartache and gloomy, low-key brooding. First of all, Philip Winchester's acting is terribly insincere. Every. Single. Line. is spoken in the same clipped, monotone fashion, so in addition to Chernuchin holding him in front of the audience screaming "LOVE HIM" he's also the most boring character in the history of SVU and maybe television.

This week in InvestigationFaces

You know that song "Dope Show" by Marilyn Manson? I have the chorus in my head except it goes like this: We're all stars now, in the Stone show...

I will say...Stone had a chance to win some legal hearts and minds if he would have anticipated the judge throwing out the DNA evidence (as he should have), but instead his argument is basically "agree with me because I'm me." Oh, but wait! I take that back! If the evidence had not been thrown out we wouldn't have had the pleasure of witnessing the cringeworthy Benson and Stone playacting confession scene...it seems Michael Chernuchin has anointed Stone with a new title--DDA (Detective District Attorney).

Anyway, his legal chops are lacking. Barba wouldn't have done that....especially not on Carisi's assurance. I really miss Barba throwing legal shade his way.

I don't think ANYONE approved of how the final minute of the show turned out but I now have one lingering question...where was Stone planning to change clothes?

CARMEN!!!!

Quotable

"I ain't cuffin this guy." Same, Fin. Same.

"Now I'm asking permission." Classic Carisi--eager to please, a little sycophantic...adorable. 

"...the 5-5..." Ooo! A tiny shred of continuity. Kudos, Julie, you're the best.

Carisi always has such a way with the weirdos.

Is it Next Thursday, Yet?

Whatever the eps are about...they'll go like this:

1. Crime
2. Investigation (preferably led by Stone unless PW has the episode off to try and learn to be less boring)
3. Meet at bar (Stone plus one)
4. Meet at waterside for a heart-to-heart.

Carisi sure cozied up quickly to Uncle Edgar's niece...Annie? Amy? (see above note about remembering and rewatching). Is this the girl?

My whole fan life right now is consumed with dreading the return of Cassidy. I'm fixated on my prediction that Stone is going to reveal Cassidy's abuse to Benson, and, of course, I'm always consumed with constant sadness (fanwise not in general, don't worry) because WHY DOES TUCKER NEVER EVER GET MENTIONED? It's not like he was some random booty call. But, of course, Noah aged so quickly his brain probably never formed those memories. #IMissJack

We're. All. Stars. Now. In the Stone show...

XX.II: A Snoozer of a Start Leaves Much to be Desired for the Rest of #SVU20

The #42Minutes

A rape victim recalls an assault at the hands of a couple who are quickly identified as Heath and Sadie. As the investigation unfolds and almost comes to a halt, Carisi finds a damning video on Heath's computer which leads the squad away from the more recent crimes and to a 14-year-old kidnapping and murder. As it turns out, Heath is a serial predator who used his medical expertise to keep remaking Cece/Sadie into the perfect woman and, in the process, making her a slave to his desires (this was implied more than it was shown and the episode was worse for it).

Verdict

Well, I suppose we wouldn't want to set the bar too high for the rest of the season...there are, after all, thirteen of these episodes left. In addition to being boring...

• None of the actors gave notable performances. Everyone seemed flat and uninterested which, given the story, is not surprising.
• Having Sadie ask Benson if she's ever been with a woman felt like a cheap attempt at baiting fans who wouldn't mind Benson doing just that, but the looks exchanged between Rollins and Benson and Fin and Carisi were classic.
• As if Benson was going to reveal some juicy details to a perp. Ha.
• I know we only had #42Minutes, but the episode unfolded a little too conveniently for me. Sadie/Cece rolled on Heath instantly after Benson made the "hay" connection; for someone who had been brainwashed by her captor (most of her dialogue was robotically delivered) she defected to Team SVU too quickly
• Annoying camera angles...like...a zoom on the teapot to foreshadow Mrs. Kimball dropping the cups later...ugh. I feel almost as bad for her as I did for Mr. Markowitz. 
• I would have traded half of the first #42Minutes for some legal drama, after all Sadie is both victim and perpetrator, but then again, that means Stone shows up so, never mind. 
• Speaking of Stone, he was used perfectly--off screen, on the phone
• The break room conversation between Benson and Rollins was weird although I can't say I'm surprised Rollins would be enticed to sexual experimentation if it involved Botox and cupcakes (or a fancy, free apartment and regular heart screenings?)

Quotable

"There were three people in that room and and two of them are saying that you're lying." What? WhAT? WHAT? Might be the truth but Benson and her tone were way OOC here. Can you imagine if Rollins had said that? Benson would've ripped her head off behind closed doors!

"Not just a perv; he's a pervmurderer." One of many quips that may have looked good on the written script but fell flat during the scene. 

"Beauty fades." Not for you, OMB.

"And Ava was the sweetener." CUE MY EYE ROLL

Is it Next Thursday, Yet?

After sitting this one out, Stone's coming back with a vengeance next week. Oh goodie. And I'm not going to let him ruin my Dryuary streak so...

Almond Milk, no sugar, just like OMB.

XX.IX: Sheesh! Stone, That Was Close!

The #42 Minutes

While out with another potential "distraction," a woman confronts Peter Stone (who has been granted Most Favored Character status) and accuses him of rape. Steadfast in his claims of innocence, Stone instructs Benson and SVU to investigate. It's looking bad for Stone until Benson figures out it haaaad to be the Met not the Cub who raped Sarah while she was falling down drunk because...Peter wouldn't do that? While the pieces are falling into place, Gary takes Stone hostage but the HNT duo of Sarah and Emma Kent save the day and Stone disarms Gary off-screen. The Lieutenant pretends to be a good 'ole boy and gets Reggie (the Met) to essentially admit he did it then she goes to meet Stone who is gazing soulfully at New Jersey and probably wondering what else from his drunken MLB days he doesn't remember.

CARMEN!

In other news, Rollins may or may not move in with Al and Carisi's jealous. Riveting.

Verdict

List of things wrong with this episode:

1. What is it with people conveniently bumping into Stone? An admirer at the hot dog cart, Sarah Kent (the victim and Bushwick wife and mom who shows up at one of Stone's favorite haunts), and Gary Kent at the pub...

2. The shadow case Stone was prosecuting in the first part of the episode being used to emphasize his guilt and uncertainty...as if we needed more of that.

3. Doesn't Stone have an apartment? Why go to Fin's place?

4. Why is the entire squad all Peter's our friend we love him he couldn't have done this blah blah blah...I seem to remember a series-long MO of the squad typically being skeptical of new/outsider ADAs

5. Fin flashes his Sergeant's shield but says "Detective."

6. Why does Stone act all pissy about getting arrested? Certainly, given his job AND THE CASE HE WAS CURRENTLY WORKING, he knew this was a possibility if not a probability.

7. Sarah and Emma take the lead in hostage negotiation when Gary never asked for his wife or daughter but then again Benson Knows Best (insert eye roll) and Peter has a way with desperate, my-world-is-falling-apart men because he acts like he is one.

8. Also, Fin didn't help himself to any "treats"...I thought that was a thing now?

It's Family Day at HNT!

#CecilBHargitay had those cameras all up IN people's faces, did she not? Fine with me for everyone except you, Stone. Mariska can direct, write, edit, produce, costume, makeup, sound, and promote every episode but if they continue to feature Stone...I can't...

Quotable

"Way things are we're all looking at our pasts through a new prism." Fin and Carisi struggling with the accusation could have held some weight and been interesting if they clothed their skepticism in their own personal experiences rather than an almost sycophantic loyalty to Stone. 

"What is that I was happy." LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Best line of the night and it doesn't even matter.

"I'm gonna get ya a ginger ale. That steak's gonna give you indigestion." Poor Carisi. He's right about Al. He's also the only one who gives a damn about this stupid subplot. 

"If you want someone to make this go away you came to the wrong person." Stone pressuring Benson to make it go away would have been more intriguing than a melodramatic whiny plea for an impartial investigation. 

"I'm really getting sick of men who are not Tucker showing up at my door."

Is It Next Thursday, Yet?

There's more color in Benson's world. Could that be a symbol of something? Midlife crisis? Recommended by a book written by a child psychologist suggesting the palette will soothe stubborn children?

I'm bummed. This season keeps getting worse. I don't know what it is...flimsy plots, OOC writing, lack of continuity from ep to ep and seasons past, emphasis on people who are not Olivia Benson...

When Gary had the gun pointed at Stone, I yelled "SHOOT HIM!" 

I shouldn't be like that...

List of current SVU characters for whom I'm thankful from most to least:

1. Olivia Benson

2. Ed Tucker

3. Fin Tutuola

4. Sonny Carisi

5. Carmen

6. Officer Montero

7. Noah Benson

8. Jesse Rollins

9. Frannie Rollins

10. Amanda Rollins

Have a great holiday, y'all!

XX.VIII: Hell is a plate full of Stone

The #42Minutes

The episode opens at Far Rockaway by Andrew--an upscale seafood restaurant--where intense Chef Leibowitz (he has the restaurant's logo tatted on his hand!) barks out orders and he and right-hand-woman Kayla serve fancy entrees to a pair of overly-jolly journalists. For a split second the audience is led to believe it might be these two men who assault Kayla who is later taken to SVU after an altercation with a not-guilty Uber driver. SVU investigates, but they don't get much other than a consensual wine-cellar sex claim by Andrew and a sip of Montrachet for Fin as a disapproving Carisi looks on. They dig a little deeper and find three accusations against Andrew from Brooklyn and also discover his pattern of keeping panties as trophies. Nevertheless, the problem is they're in Brooklyn and their Peter Stone alleges he couldn't prosecute because the cases had too many weak links and holes and Kayla doesn't want to move forward with the charges because she's raking in six figures. But the good news is...Stone's sister was killed so he gets Kayla to testify and Benson is willing to leak the story to a tabloid to get more victims to come forward, only, the newest accuser, Bethany, points the finger at the seemingly squeaky-clean Chris Hodges rather than Andrew. In an interview lifted almost entirely from the Kavanaugh hearings, she recounts to Benson an assault which occurred in high school with crystal clear detail. When confronted with this info, Hodges gets all pissy and blames Andrew, agrees to wear a wire and participate in a sting, and SVU gets a twofer because the convo gives them enough evidence to arrest both men.

Yeah, the juice sorta looks like the brown stuff Ed drank, right buddy? I'm sad, too.

Also, Noah doesn't like olives.

Verdict

No joke, the only ONLY reason I continue to watch is Mariska Hargitay (did she request some time off or something because the star wasn't exactly featured and I could be wrong but the show sorta lives and dies with her). The "ripped from the headlines" plots feel lazy, the dialogue cheap and corny, and I am so, so, so, so weary of Peter Stone's anguished, pensive face on the fucking screen. Nothing against Philip Winchester, but I also can't stand his clipped, forlorn way he delivers his lines. You don't need to sell Stone's sadness anymore, dude. We get it.

The episode wasn't all that suspenseful, and I must have been the only one not shocked that the #MeToo advocate Hodges ended up being a bad guy, too. It was a convenient way for the writers to neatly denounce rapist chefs and rapist office seekers in only one #42Minute block and also hitch it to next week's Mea Culpa (more about that at the end of the post).

One thing I thought odd about the investigation (or maybe it was the editing) was that after Kayla walked out of SVU providing no leads other than it wasn't the Uber driver, the squad immediately went to the restaurant merely based on the driver's records. Without a willing, complaining victim, would that actually have happened?

When Benson and Stone finally agree they really, really need Kayla to cooperate (duh), Stone, not Benson, goes to see her. WHYYYYYYYYYY? He's not a fucking cop. He's a young-ish, successful, powerful white male with a few months of SVU prosecuting experience and he's the one tasked with convincing Kayla...AND the writers went there and clumsily wove sister Stone's murder into a reason why Kayla should fight back (and she flipped a little too quickly, btw). Give me a fucking break. The sympathy cow has been milked dry.

"But why?" Oh, shut up, Rollins. These writers write like it's freaking Groundhog Day.

Liv's new funky apartment paint job is cute...

I know many fans have been anti-Noah storylines for a long time. Until Sheila, I liked them. However, where are we going with stubborn Noah? Who cares? All kids are brats. Do any kids like salad? Is he acting out because his mother is never there (yawn)....enough already.

Annnnnd of course we must squeeze in a little female bonding scene about yet another ugly moment from Rollins' past....

Benson leaking the deets to the reporter in the dark stairwell was hot...I hope that doesn't come back to bite her but surely she has a fistful of "the ends justify the means" cards to play by now.

I did have to chuckle, though, at the osso buco...thanks, Kayla, another dish Noah can taste and spit out.

Quotable:

This week in "we're trying to be crude and authentic" lines that are actually so obnoxious they're laughable:
"banged her against the Bordeaux"
"three berry shortcake that'll give you both wood"

"Want half of my cinnamon raisin bagel?" Who says the whole name of the bagel? Also, I didn't believe for a second Rollins was bothered by Fin's barb...her retort was spot on "What's my type, Fin? Broke?" Rollins can take it and dish it. 

"NOT ANYMORE!"

Is It Next Thursday, Yet?

Okay, the pot brownie was funny, but, for the second time in a month, Fin crosses a line and takes a sip of Montrachet while in the wine cellar. Fin clearly gives no fucks and maybe feels invincible with that Sergeant's badge and whatever dirt he has on Dodds, but will he go too far at some point and end up with his career in jeopardy?

I'll gladly eat my blog a week from now, but I don't see how this whole Peter Stone sexual assault case ends well. Scenario 1: the accuser is lying. Scenario 2: the accuser may or may not be telling the truth but alcohol was involved and details are fuzzy and Stone gets a pass though, moving forward, he is continually under suspicion and Benson doesn't trust him.

Stone's probably going to get to interrogate his accuser on the stand and how will Benson react considering she knows what that's like and we know a) representing yourself is a boneheaded decision and b) Stone's not leaving so maybe our best hope is a suspension (served for a long time, off screen)

Me when thinking about post-S17 SVU

VII: A Psych Defense Without the Psych Defense

#42Minutes

After mortally wounded Charlie Mill is found by a neighbor, the squad is called to investigate a gruesome crime scene. Two more bodies. Coffee brewing. Cereal bowls out. No evidence of forced entry. The detectives zero in on the Mill's nanny who, admittedly, looks very guilty...bloody clothes and hiding in your brother's closet will do that for ya. The nanny gets a pass, though, because something weird is up with the Mill's financials. Eventually they uncover a scam perpetrated by Mrs. Mill; she's embezzled millions of dollars and her law firm is on to the racket. To "save" her family from the inevitable financial ruin and the consequences of her eventual incarceration, Anne Mill murdered her family and capped the whole thing off with her own suicide after a jury convicted her of one charge.

Verdict

Was the "20 years" of experience Benson claimed a nod to the 20th season? Because, um, her math is off.

And...this was an SVU case because? Not all crimes involving children automatically default to SVU. Wouldn't it go to Homicide?

I was convinced the writers were going to mimic the UWS killer nanny case from 2012--a tragedy that still makes me sick to my stomach, so the nanny in "Caretaker" functioned as a plausible red herring. As soon as the squad caught on to Anne's illegal financial schemes, the plot should have shifted to a shrink-centered case. This was the perfect time to introduce and develop Dr. Abernathy, but the writers gave her a minute or so of screen time, she quickly diagnosed Anne, and then Benson got to play shrink on the stand in the courtroom. I'm all for Benson getting the majority of the screen time, but this choice didn't make much sense, considering the defense's strategy.

Representation!

And hey, no Stone sister connection in this one but, instead of Delaney Williams as Buchanan, O'Boyle shows up to remind us Stone used to work in Chicago. Can you take him back to the Windy City with, ya, dude?

Finally, if we concede Benson has shrugged off most of her former reservations about Rollins, can we stop with the constant single mom angst? We get it. And please stop using the plot to ram their burgeoning BFFness down our throats (even though I'm sure the Rollivia faction went gaga over that hug).

Also--Carisi doesn't know the legacy of the White Horse? I have a hard time believing that...

Quotable

Carisi and Benson ponder Fin's assertion, "wouldn't be the first homewreckin' nanny on the Upper West Side."

Speaking of Fin...here's the rest of this week's FinSass:

"Musta been a helluva poem."

"She's in Rikers, I don't think they're gonna give her the key."

"Look who you're talking to, dude."

"Jesus I can't believe this."

"Mother's don't kill their babies."

WHAT? That scene in the middle of the episode (see pic below) was reminiscent of a cheesy whodunit. Why is anyone in this squad shocked? This is not their first instance of filicide.

This week in OOC OMB dialogue:

"Sometimes life just sucks."

"You should keep those flowers --sometimes we just need a little pretty."

Shouldn't SVU writers be required to watch a few of the past episodes? I mean, there are plenty from which to choose.

Fucking flowers again...

Is it Next Thursday Yet?

The holidays are upon us and OMB needs to reconsider her shopping list...other than that I don't know what I'm looking forward to or not looking forward to. Right now the show feels rudderless and the only consistent threads are elements I care nothing about (Rollins baby drama and Stone).

Adios!

X.VI--It's Not Always Hudson's Fault

The #42Minutes

SVU is called to a scene where a young woman who later identifies herself as Grace Walker is found beaten and raped. Benson, fresh from a workout (because of course she has time for regular training sessions) joins Carisi and they head to the hospital, gather preliminary details, and fan out across Manhattan to find the rapist. Problems arise quickly, though. Grace gave inaccurate and misleading information, she turns out to be homeless, but not homeless-homeless (right, Sonny?), she uses fancy words...her identity is not adding up. The detectives soon figure out Grace is actually Sophie--a promising young college student--but can't figure out why the fuck she'd trade the sorority house for the streets.

After a second attack, this one at the hands of her shelter boyfriend Tommy, Grace is taken to the hospital again. She doesn't recognize herself in a photo, says her parents are dead but can't remember their names, and recognizes her Dad... Season 20 Dr. Huang interviews Grace and diagnoses dissociative fugue even though, apparently, Benson had already done so.

These two are competent and pretty.

We're all suspicious of the Dad, but it's actually a professor who raped Sophie, sending her spiraling downhill (although I'm still not giving Dad a total pass, he was weird), which we figure out when Benson takes her to campus and plays a SVU-version of hot-and-cold. Sophie describes being violently raped by a professor, and incriminating blue ink stain is still on the sofa cushion, ugh, but the guy is dead so all this healing Benson promised doesn't seem like it's going to pan out but she's Olivia fucking Benson so, in the end, we're led to believe Sophie is in a much better place both geographically and psychologically.

Verdict

I'm not sure what it says about the state of the show when, during the credits, I shrug and mutter "could have been worse."

The writers treated Sophie's mental illness with dignity rather than portraying her as a liar or making her a terroristic killer. Aimee Spring Fortier and Mariska Hargitay were phenomenal on the screen together. For me, the more personal side of Benson is almost always cringe-worthy and uncomfortable, and at the very beginning of the scene I groaned--not this again--but the conversation was not at all awkward (even though y'all coulda thought of a different name for Benson's live-in boyfriend...Billy? Come on).

I was surprised the episode didn't delve deeper into sexual assault at homeless shelters and among the homeless in general. It also didn't make a big deal about Carisi driving Grace/Sophie home. Even though Carisi was professional and did nothing wrong, I thought maybe something more was going to develop with what I thought was an odd decision. Benson let a confused, battered rape victim be driven home by a male detective?

I loved Carisi in this episode because he was back to his original characterization of zealous, no-nonsense, go-get-the-bad-guy detective rather than the whiny, too-angry brat he's become in the past couple of seasons.

The transition from Sophie flipping the table in Benson's office to Sophie at the professor's grave happened too abruptly. I would have liked to see more of how Benson convinced her to go there, but I guess we have to leave room for Stone's on-screen melancholy.

I promised myself I would not devote more than a sentence to Stone so instead of repeating my cycle of complaints about the character, I will reiterate the prediction that his sex-as-coping habit will somehow come back to haunt him either in the courtroom or during an SVU investigation and I really hope that happens and I hope Barba returns to either prosecute him or clean up the mess.

I'm still giggling at Fin snatching himself a pot brownie, gratis.

Quotable:

"I was with a bear claw." We're over the OMB fitness arc, too, Carisi.

"In my experience..." Yeah, we get it, you all have seen some horrible shit but can we start using some different words?

"Every family needs someone with a truck." Stone, this is the most valuable thing you've ever said. 

"If you don't mind stand up and turn your ass around." Fin was on FIRE with the not-taking-any-bullshit sass in this one. Why is he the only one who consistently gets in-character dialogue?

"The past is over and done with."
(OMB) "Sometimes."
I hate these seemingly-insignificant, wistful comments of Benson's because I read too much into them and then twist my mind into a pretzel for days trying to dissect the underlying meaning in One. Fucking. Word.

"Peter." If he absolutely has to be on the show...I'm all for more of OMB scolding Stone. 

"He's dead, but you're not."

Eye Roll Quote of the Night:

"Definitely a college word."
Oh, FFS people.

Oh, and I admire and revere RBG as much as the next person, but now we have an 8 x 10 in the office? What's next? One of those Fat Head life-size cutouts?

Is it Next Thursday, Yet?

Ugh. Are they doing a version of the 2012 UWS nanny murders? I really hope not because that crime still gives me nightmares but it looks like they are because a bunch of blood in a kid's bedroom is never good news.

Until then, Imma go back and rewatch the mug-smashing scene just to make sure Liv didn't sacrifice the RBG one though I got the sense OMB is not entirely unfamiliar with this method of "letting it all out" so she probably has some cheapo generic ones sitting around...

X.V: Who needs detectives when you have a fit tracker?

The #42Minutes

A couple of classic #SVU tropes return in what seemed to be a 42-minute long attempt to prove beyond a reasonable doubt Rollins and Benson can and will be BFFs. As Benson and Rollins whine about physical fitness and single motherhood, the squad investigates a rape homicide, quickly zeroing in on the charismatic con man (trope 1) Arlo who leads a women's empowerment group called Accredo. similar to the most rigidly-structured street gangs, there's only one way to get out, so when one of the women, Vicky, wants to leave, she's killed and the brand (trope 2) signifying she's one of them, is cut out of her flesh.

At first Vicky's old bf, Brad, looks guilty because, after all, he does have Vicky's blood on his clothes, but there's no DNA on his knives, but knives are a dime a dozen, but Brad's on camera with one of the Accredo girls the night of the murder so, duh, he's been framed.

At least Benson gets to read Rollins a story. Poor Noah.

Arlo's wife and a jilted, now-broke, ex-husband give the squad more incriminating evidence, Gina cracks a bit, but the real kicker is Lila's fit tracker data because it soooo proves murder.

Rollins, trying really, really hard in her last week before desk duty, sort of assaults a witness/perp and then gets Arlo's lawyer/sycophant-turned-traitor to turn him in before he can flee the country. Win for #SVU and win for us because...no Stone. Yay!

Except...this was one of the least suspenseful #SVU eps ever. I suppose the only thing better than an ep so controversial it bitterly divides fans is an ep which sparks no conversation at all?

Verdict

The Rollivia shippers must have been bouncing up and down with delight at this one. Stone gets the night off (wonder how he spent it?) and Fin and Carisi sing backup as Benson and Rollins lead the investigation. Sure Rollins is pregnant and they're short staffed and maybe it's what he prefers, but at what point is Fin going to be like, hey? I'm the fucking Sergeant. When am I going to get to pass on moving the furniture? And, Benson, your fit-tracker stalking trainer woulda preferred you get off your ass and go move it, and, btw, we don't need to know he's going to yell at you for not running. This isn't the Benson personal life I was hoping for.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mariska and Kelli on screen together as friends or as chummy single mothers Does. Not. Work. These actors simply don't have that type of chemistry. Benson demeanor comes off as, "I know I should care and I want to care but I really don't and just fucking deal with it and also do your job, Amanda." And Rollins' is, "I'm so fucking bonkers in the head I don't know which way is up and why is this Arlo guy so good at yanking out my innermost demons and also, I hate my mother and I hate myself for hating her."

This week in Benson desk accessories...WHO TOOK NOAH FISHING? I think you know where I'm going with this...

Rollins seems to come to self-realization of her own at the end, hopefully for good, because goddam she's on my nerves once again.

Noah hanging up on Benson was hilarious. But he's probably mad because he's too old. The real Noah should only be in preschool.  Even if I were to go along with aging the kid and taking away my beloved Jack, Benson went to PRESCHOOL last year to see Ms. Smiley before everyone went all apeshit over Noah's bruises so how he skipped to first grade, IDK, especially since he was all but mute for a while.

Quotable:

Hearing Carisi say "fugly" made me giggle.

"But you're conflicted, aren't you. I can see you're terrified about losing control, about being vulnerable. You've been hurt badly in your life. And I'm sorry about that." You can say that to 90% of people and be spot on or at least conjure some self-doubt.

This week in Fin Sass:
"It's not tough to see why she dropped your ass."
"They got a lotta mashed potatoes up in Sing Sing."
"A foot on her neck?"
"As you were."

This week in Benson wisdom:
"I run my unit."
"Most people in here are in here because they believed a man's lies."
"You can get out by the time you're fifty. And believe me, that's a lot of life left." (Take that, mid-life crisis).


This week in lines hearkening-Tucker:
"plays golf, talks sports, drinks bourbon, smokes cigars..."
"I was scared to be...alone."
"Arraign this prick." (I will forever associate  Benson saying "prick" with her describing Abraham as an "angry prick" to Tucker...that was so hawwwwwt.)

Just call Ed, will ya?

Wardrobe:

Carisi's at his best when standing around clad in polka dots.

Pointless scene/convo of the week goes to:

I thought we'd established long ago Rollins had a crappy home life?

Overacted, overdramatic line of the week goes to:

"the data is uploaded...to the cloud..." Writers, why must you give OMB the eye roll lines?

Is it Next Thursday, Yet?

Well, for me, it's more like is it Friday night or Saturday morning yet?

Will Rollins' cardiologist become Benson's cardiologist? In the doctor-patient sense, I mean. Will Benson become this annoying, fitness-obsessed boss and make everyone do squad health challenges? Damn...that trainer's muscles. I bet Tucker would like her to make dinner and do squats with him.

This is what's running through my mind after the episode. Great.