Nooch.3: Suffering Enough?

The #42 Minutes:

Fin and Carisi arrive at the Skyline Hotel answering a call and quickly pivot from childhood candy memories to their best WTF faces because that's not ice in that ice bucket.

At the hospital the purported victim, Jason Karr, only claims to remember having drinks and going to his hotel room with a woman named Angela. The squad agrees there must be more to the story after all it's not everyday someone turns up castrated in a hotel stairwell (but it has happened fairly regularly on SVU).

Onward.

Who would say no to this face?

A 911 call, a Visa transaction, and a charmed steakhouse hostess later, they have three suspects who are actually victims, but Karr can't or won't identify his attackers. Carisi shows off his vocabulary to Barba's veiled delight (Yummy!) and suggests they arrest the three women for obstruction, Olivia agrees because given the nature of the injury there's a sexual motivation (duh), Rollins is annoyed, and the women, particularly the aptly-named Evelyn Bundy confess to the setup and the crime. Evelyn accepts a four-year sentence for assault, but Benson lets slip Karr won't have to pay for his crimes due to the statute of limitations on statutory rape BUT HOLD ON! Evelyn subsequently recounts an instance of forcible rape which is incredibly convenient since the clock doesn't run out on that charge. It's a head-scratcher for Rollins, though, because Evelyn's a little tardy with the accusation, and Rollins doesn't say it but she's thinking her boss fucked up a little bit but just like last time she questioned OMB's judgement (last week), everything turned out just fine at least as far as the case is concerned. (Insert weekly Rollins-for-Sarge plug here).

He did it.

A forcible rape conviction seems doubtful until Karr's wife shows up in the squad room with an old student literary journal which sort of corroborated Evelyn's account and also another conch shell which she pointedly produced from her bag and placed on the desk. Cue the eye roll counter (I was at nine).

Since the wife's testimony would be damning and the poem (cork)screwed any chance of fact-based acquittal, Karr's lawyer uses her closing argument to try and convince the jury that justice had already been overserved and it was therefore fair to give Karr a pass, a suggestion which infuriates Barba. He scribbles furiously only to crumple the paper in favor of an ad-libbed verbal counter-punch for the eventual KO.

Karr is found guilty in a case that in real life probably never would have gone to trial. All is right with the world. Especially since Benson can go home and read to Noah without that nagging DA's investigation hanging over her head, but complacency is short-lived. Put the gloves, on, OMB, time for Round Two (btw if the plan is to go a full twelve, I'm out).

Random Ramble:

The case wasn't very interesting. SVU has done years-later revenge before, predatory teachers are definitely not new, and the whole thing too closely mirrored Control (SVU5.09). The suspense of the last two episodes never showed up in this one, even when Langan showed up but maybe I'm already desensitized to everyone on the planet torturing OMB. Additionally, the fairly seamless back-and-forth between #Benoah and cop business disappeared. The flow was off and Director Mister Jean de Segonzac employed some weird angles and jerky cuts which didn't help and as I've mentioned before I've never set foot in a film school and I'm not even confident I'm using the correct terminology, so this could be solely my problem.

Since Fin's spent most of the past couple of years whining about how annoying Carisi is, I found it odd they were all buddy-buddy as the show opened but maybe they're both lonely since #34B hasn't been heard from and neither has Fin's grandson. Even more off-base and flirting with OOC was that Fin knows A Streetcar Named Desire well enough to use "Stanley Kowalski" in a snarky remark, and Carisi isn't familiar with Contrapasso.

Fin, did you just say "sketch?"

You know what? In Gone Fishin' I almost got teary-eyed when Liv connected with the rapist's wife over their children. Like, FINALLY, she can do that. She's a mother. So not only did she "get it" before, now she has the "mom cred" to sincerely and completely empathize on this level. But just like her asking Noah if he invited someone over was cute the first time and hackneyed the second, the scene with young Mrs. Karr crying about not having a family and then Benson (who by this point knows Karr's a monster) tacitly suggesting the Karrs could one day adopt made ZERO sense and was a trite reminder that OMB is once again distracted by the #Benoah-in-peril thread Nooch insists on weaving through this season.

The year is 4015 and OMB is still fighting to keep her son.

Did Langan and Liv ever agree to disagree on who's at fault in what will go down as the least twisty of the latest #SVU twists? If it matters? Trevor said there is no legal basis for the motion, so maybe Grandma will settle for petitioning for visitation?

No, OMB does not need a man but COME ON PEOPLE who doesn't want to see grumbly, pissed off Tucker be her rock through this?

How many of ya'll Googled "New York Adoption Law" last night? I did.

More on this later.

Benson reassuring the women at the beginning of Barba's closing was kinda hilarious.

I hate to nitpick but why were all three of the women at their 20th reunion when one was a year older?

Quotable:

"Rafael. Rafael. Rafael."  Maybe I just prefer hearing Mariska Hargitay pronounce Barba, but for old time's sake let's go back to using the surname. Say what you want about evolving relationship, but hasn't their friendship evolved about as much as it's going to? Maybe he finally came out to Liv? But still....he's BARBA! And shut up, Barson shippers who are about to fire back at me with "But she called Tucker Ed in Collateral Damages, rememberrrr?"

"Rabbits don't eat sushi!" Does that mean you do, Noah? If so, I'm going to need a #Benoah sushi date scene ASAP.

"Let's get her some medical attention, please." Uh, ya think, Judge? Evelyn's hand is kinda bleeding all over the fucking place. IDK about ya'll but this was a little too close to the Jenna Miller "loving her body" on-the-stand meltdown in Heightened Emotions (same judge, too). 

Wish I woulda known sooner that castrated was the night's drinking game word. C'mon, writers, I need to be aware of these things ahead of time. It affects my drink selections.

This quote from Julie-42Minutes-Martin was truncated. The entire version was "Whatever the case, she might have to move in with Tucker." Nice attempt to try and joke your way out of a fuck up.

Wardrobe:

My love for Benson Blazers is not exactly a state secret, but the Best Blazer Award for October 11 goes to Amanda Rollins for the cutout-sleeve black number she wore at the beginning of the episode I have already been tracking one down for myself I'm sure you all care.

I really hate that the first trench coat to appear appeared on the body of Brooke Fucking Sheila Porter.

My co-workers and I look just like this.

Is It Next Wednesday Yet?

What's with this every-crime-has-three-victims/OMB-is-distracted-and-Rollins-notices-and-questions-her pattern we have developing? I've said it before and I'll say it again. Targeting Noah is the easy way out. It's way more difficult to create a season (or more) long recurring story line similar to Yates/Rudnick or the Johnny D sex trafficking ring or even that escort-service-war stupid ass Cassidy was involved in.

Instead the writers are now making up shit to fill in the blanks so it seems plausible that Sheila Porter would have a shot at taking Noah. Ok, so, Ellie lied about her parents and her mom was in New Hampshire anyway; was Langan supposed to vet every Porter in the United States? And another SO WHAT to Judge Linden fast-tracking the adoption. She's the fucking judge. And Noah was, as far as everyone knew, an orphan.

Why are you at my fucking door?

Ellie's story was that she was in and out of foster care and, as a teenager, sold to Little Tino. Was she lying about foster care? Did she instead voluntarily run away? I sure as fuck hope so because if Brooke Shields was such a shitty parent that her daughter was taken from her for SEVERAL YEARS then a) hiring a PI to find said daughter seems a little off and b) why would any judge even consider granting her request?

I do not see Olivia Margaret Mommy Bear Benson willing to open her life and Noah's life to this stranger even for the sake of "family." Please writers do not have her go through some sappy bout of soul-searching and agonizing about how she never had extended family and wants to take a chance and give that to her son in the form of visitations with this woman.

Or, hell, let's do it! And invite Simon along for the ride, too!

Lastly, let's get real, people. I (and everyone else with a brain) already questioned this at length on Twitter but how in the hell does Grandma know where Olivia resides and why does Benson's building have apparently the only open-access policy in Manhattan? You need a code to use the restroom at Starbucks, but the person trying to make Noah Porter Benson Noah Porter again can waltz right up the elevator and knock on the door?