Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep...

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Note: I am writing as if I haven't already read the episode. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, trust me. Don't read Spoiler TV's "preview."

FYI: I hate repetitive punctuation to convey emotion but I do it anyway and I also balk at y'all but I type it often though I rarely say it unless I'm at a bar in Albany, Georgia researching for a thesis but never mind this is about #SVU19 and also I must warn you I love run-on sentences, no, I take that back, I love MY run-on sentences because I am literally talking as I type and I talk really fast because I'm not originally from the South, a fact I point out more than I need to and without prompting. Especially lately.

So the story is...I stumbled upon Fanfiction.net because I loved #Tuckson and I thought, Hey! I can write a few stories. So I did and people liked them and then I wrote this little series called Truce which I love and wish was canon and started including author's notes which turned into brief reviews of the episodes I included in the stories which led me to the idea that I would start a blog and review S18 eps in my grammatically incorrect, profanity-laden style.

Disclaimers:

I love #Tuckson. Unabashedly. Steadfastly. For some...annoyingly.
I love 2.0 (Until 2.0, SVU marathons were merely reliable hangover-weathering companions)
I never liked Stabler and I do not wish for his return.
Eidteen...more about that later.

Current #SVU19 Mood:

I wish I could be cautiously optimistic since I do generally tend to look on the bright side of things. But I can't get there. Know why? Because I was LAST YEAR AT THIS TIME. So I'm really prepared to live in the world where Heartfelt Passages was the series finale and never watch the show again. Can you believe I actually thought I would like R---E--? There's a tweet somewhere to prove it. @LariskaPargitay called me out on it once :-)

I did. I had MAJOR hopes. Because who could take the threads Mr. Leight left and fuck them up?

*raises hand

"I know! I know!"

Good luck, Chicago.

Instead of the teased  "bigger, badder, Benson" (I STG I did not dream this) leading a shell-shocked yet resolute squad we got a different Lieutenant each week (also wildly different weather patterns and double backs on dates but who pays attention to that shit, right?). One day she says take the money the next day, don't; the job was her life then it wasn't then it was again; and I could go on and on or you could read last year's recaps and then there was Eidteen's version of "gray areas" AKA victim blaming and it was excruciating to watch survivors portrayed as "deserving it" for whatever reason.

To add insult to injury, nothing else made sense. I still can't figure out why exactly Tuckson broke up other than it was the C-word (more about that in a minute). I'm also not sure about Fin's Army Ranger stint or Carisi's 34B, or Kim or How Involved is Declan? or Baby Ken-and-Alejandro or the threat to Barba's life...

The barrage of guest stars both returning and new has excited everyone; however, let me remind you that the Joe Biden teasers were more exciting than his actual appearance. In fairness Belzer's cameo wasn't so exciting either but I love Warren and hate Rick and this is my blog so there. But remember, "Bye Munch" ???? GAHHHHHHH! I miss Jack-as-Noah already.

While I'm on that subject I'll start with one concern and that's the recasting of Noah...to a kid three years older than actual Noah should be. And of course I immediately followed the new kid on Instagram and Twitter, but it's going to take me a minute or a few drinks to swallow the jump from "another story" and Lucy and Day Care to what? Second grade? And actual conversations? Certainly they won't try and pass him off as four...can they do that with creative camera angles and poor new Noah altering his speech? Have we time hopped three years?

So Brooke Shields is there to fuck with Benoah, and I'm nowhere near others' levels of excitement at the return of Jack McCoy. Philip Winchester is no Raul Esparza and I hope we're not trading one for the other.

Then there's Cassidy.

I fucking hate him. I have hated that character from the beginning. What a fucking immature ass. As far as his relationship with Olivia goes, he is someone who she thought she had to settle for...and then he ends up essentially telling her what she wants is not what he wants. Now I know Mr. Noochy has said that he hasn't watched a bunch of episodes, but the writers have (and wrote some), and my argument is this:

How can you watch the Leight years and think, at 17.23 that Benson and Cassidy should be a couple? Really?

I concede however, that the Cassidy exit wasn't neatly done so I'm cool with some closure, but pairing him with Benson...again...with a kid...I'm not buying it. And presumably he's IAB? So the conflict of interest thing all over again?

And for those of you screaming, "HEY! YOU WERE COOL WITH TUCKER CHANGING, MAYBE CASSIDY HAS CHANGED AS WELL?"

Touché. But I still don't see it. Let's agree to disagree.

Plus, Bobby Burke is way hotter than Dean Winters, and I will fight you to the death on that point.

We'll see if Tucker's name is mentioned. I'm guessing it will be...but the relationship between Tucker and Benson was too artfully crafted to be dismissed the way it was in S18 and I hope this season, at the very least, gives me some closure because going from we're going to Paris and probs exchanging fucking wedding rings to "it's complicated" without the in-between is cruel and stupid and not all that creative.

Want to know my Tuckson thoughts? Read here.

Finally, I am so not looking forward to Benson being "dragged through the woods" on a regular basis. Sure, most humans have to weather some protracted storms at certain periods in their lives, but using this tactic as a regular plot line will get old fast. I hope I'm exaggerating, but Mr. Chernushowrunner boasting about how neat it will be to see OMB in constant personal and/or professional peril already makes me want to start gobbling Xanax and chasing it with Jameson. First of all, hasn't that been done? Season 16? Meanie Social Worker Ms. Jackson? Demanding Chief Dodds? Second of all, it seems like an easy way out. What's wrong with a confident sagely Benson who imparts her wisdom and experience to her squad (maybe do that as she grooms Rollins to take over because I've said it before--I want Amanda as Sarge; the rank just doesn't seem Fin-ish). I'm not asking for corny unicorns and rainbows, surely the very essence of her job results in certain degrees of constant angst and I'm sure she worries every second about every decision she makes regarding Noah, but can we not alternate human punching bags? Why does OMB have to keeping taking it on the chin? This better not turn into Rollins, Fin, and Carisi solving crimes and Benson alternating between Family Court and Lindstrom's couch.

AND THE MOST GLARING CONCERN AWARD GOES TO:

"Broken Woman."

Look. The cast and writers and everyone seem happy and they're tweeting and morale is high and fans are once again engaged...at least my sector of the fandom is...I hear there were some who were never disheartened or disillusioned last season...

This approach is unnerving. It implies a weakness and a desperation antithetical to the character. Olivia Benson rose in the ranks and commands one of Manhattan's elite units. She is a survivor, imperfect at times, but dogged in the pursuit of justice and devoted to being the mother she never had. She may be too stubborn, too insistent on doing things her way, too independent, and too "I'm fine." 

She may have let Tucker walk out of her apartment too easily. 

But Broken?

I'll keep an open mind and, well, the people running the show have slightly more writing credits than I have; maybe something happened off-camera between seasons. Maybe the Noah-drama will prove insurmountable. Maybe she'll get a little too friendly with the booze again. However, we were assured she'd emerge a better person...

But I have trust issues now.

Happy SVU Eve!

Despite all of the above, I may have worked up a little optimism! 

If all else is hopeless, I'm looking forward to the Benson blazer game. I've been saving all summer to copy her new duds.

With knock-offs of course.