____.16 :Jobs or Justice?

Recap:

During an interview with actress and rape survivor Davina Delucci, HNT host Heidi Sorenson begins coaching her through her story SO WELL that everyone on set and watching at home realizes something it terribly wrong. Heidi tells Benson she was raped by CEO Harold Coyle but quickly walks back the allegations, initially refuses to cooperate, is replaced (fired) by a younger version of herself, decides to cooperate but it still seems like a shaky case until a gazillion other women come out of the woodwork and pile on the accusations. Coyle obviously has a pattern, but Barba has a problemo because the old crimes fall into the misdemeanor category and the statute of limitations has run out on almost all of them. The detectives need more ammo for the jury so they get Heidi's co-host George Thannos on board or so they think, but he's a punk ass bitch, so the trial comes down to whether the jury will believe Heidi or Margery, the other punk ass bitch, or she was before she secretly filmed Coyle attempting to rape her, giving Barba leverage to apparently negotiate a plea which lands Coyle in prison for a measly eighteen months and Heidi gets a big fat settlement check. Also, Benson and Dodds not only make up but they seem to be on course for a less contentious relationship but R-- E-- does not believe in multi-ep arcs or relationships, so whatever.

Ramblings:

STORY BY WARREN LEIGHT AND ______________  ________________!

Well, I'll be damned. Warr-EN! Warr-EN! Warr-EN!

Maybe this season WAS all just a bad dream.

First of all, though, which one of you assholes decided to call the show HNT? SERIOUSLY? Ok, ok, ok, Maybe this was filmed when there was still a #Tuckson and maybe with the understanding that Tucker's move to CIU would have been explained and the letters H-N-T would not be salt in the very raw wounds of people like me who are still mourning our ship.

So, it was really nice for NBC to drop a 2.0-ish ep into the mix and also for us to see good old Chief Dodds again who I never liked all that much but who I developed a soft spot for thanks to The Newsroom. Peter Gallagher was fantastic. The explanation for his absence (he's avoiding SVU and still thinks he'll see Mike at his desk) made sense even thought he apologized for an outburst I don't recall seeing but I've been drinking a lot this season so forgive me for my memory lapse. While I'm thinking about that scene...when OMB tells him "it's alright" her TONE...I don't think I've ever ever ever ever heard her voice sound like that--sadness, relief, empathy, closure--those two words and the way MH delivered them could very well keep me up at night.

Truths:

1. Men enjoy an impenetrable network of protection, as a means to maintain power.

2. Women do not enjoy impenetrable networks of protection as a means to resist and fight back when the men close ranks.

Case in point: Margery. Trying to break into the biz. Her moment is upon her. She wants this so badly that she's willing to testify FOR someone who is clearly a predator. HEIDI TOLD YOU WHAT HE WAS!

3. When women attempt to dismantle networks of protection and threaten this power, they risk losing everything. Men do too, but usually they're not the ones forced to choose between a contract renewal or being forced to "walk around in his office in my underwear and make it all go away"

Fuck you, George.

Initially, I was annoyed with Dodds when he insisted on going with Benson to talk to Coyle and his attorney. Like, WTF, Chief? But then I remembered Dodds in Unholiest Alliance and in Star-Struck Victims, and realized he did the right thing. Dodds is in the Network of the Powerful Males, too. He went along not as "Chief" but as someone from "the club," someone with just as much power as Coyle, and holy shit I bet Harry's stomach was in knots when he saw the dynamic between Dodds and the stunning OMB which causes him to go low and threaten to investigate why the inquiry into Mike's death was resolved so quickly. Coyle's playing hardball and WASN'T THAT A PERFECT TIME FOR A TUCKER MENTION? Grrrr.

So, okay, a couple of things. I was a little bit disappointed in Heidi. Girls, WE HAVE TO SPEAK UP. She (and the others) let years of harassment continue and it really did seem like she was allowing it to happen as long as it benefited her career. Like, par for the course if you're a woman trying to break into the biz. I hate this I hate this I hate this. And then she tried to "protect" Margery, but Margery is a younger version of Heidi, and the cycle continues. We should NOT have to choose between jobs and justice, but the dudes aren't going to make that a reality, not on TV and not in real life.

I found it odd that OMB mentioned a civil case a few weeks after she manhandled Zoe into testifying with all that dignity talk and browbeat her for very nearly agreeing to bury her rape and take the $$$$$.

Hearing Judge McNamara gave me Munson visions which gave me Heartfelt Passages visions which gave me #Tuckson feels....please whoever is in charge, please can we have them back? I promise to be good.

Christopher McDonald, not that you care, but you are now on my list of "People Now Dead To Me Due to SVU." God he was gross.

The Barba-Benson dynamic was also on point, and ok, Barba was suspended, but I'm still a little annoyed at the clumsy way these episodes aired because Is Barba Coming Back? drama would have been fun.

Noah has an inflatable Statue of Liberty and a police car. I laugh, though, thinking about what they must have to do to get that child actor to cooperate. His parents deliver him to the set and he's probably like, aw, damn, pajamas and bedtime again? Fuck.

And, in all seriousness, did anyone else think the person playing Gwendolyn Gates was Caitlin Jenner?

Ain't No Party Like An SVU Party:

Unless you're at the pub when the show airs. Then you watch it the next day with a Venti Pink Drink. Side note: we lost on the final question in which we had to name the four cities in the world home to the most billionaires. Ummm, how 'bout the four SVU episodes in which Michael O'Keefe appears? That one, I know.

Fashion:

Benson in leather is never a bad option. 

I have one, too!

Anyone else not loving Rollins' hair? Speaking of hair, this ep must have been filmed over a wide span of time because OMB's hair length fluctuated from scene to scene.

Quotable:

"Well, there's no communication saying 'why did you rape me?'"

Benson wins sass. I love this show when it makes me laugh.

"And we don't give up this fight. You stop fighting, the bullies win."

DODDS! What are you doing to me, man? All this time I thought you were the Chief Bully. The Benson-Dodds scenes were so, so, so good and no, stupid Twitter people, we're not shipping them.

Is It Next Wednesday Yet?

I'm cautiously optimistic for next week. The episode looks not bad. However, Warren Leight having a hand in this one only made me think about how you-know-who squandered this entire season and made a mess of what was handed to him. It was nice to tie up the questions about Benson and Dodds, but it also would have been nice for that thread and those conversations to have gradually occurred throughout the course of the season as Benson and her squad moved on and healed together. 

I can't believe someone watching The Newsroom, even the most fervent you-know-who supporter, wouldn't recognize the distinct difference between this episode and the rest of S18. 

We don't know what came of the threats to Barba, we don't know about the Fin's promotion, we've never met Fin's grandson, we don't know how Kim's doing, we'll never put a face to Carisi's 34B, blah blah blah blah blah. Some answers may forever remain in the land of unwritten and unaired scripts.

But...

Eidteen 15: COVER YOUR CAMS!

Recap:

The Pattern 23 rapist (AKA the Second Avenue Strangler, oh those newsmen are so clever, good thing these crimes initiated on Second Ave. 'cause the other Aves would've been tough for alliteration, oh, well, we have Sixth and Seventh, too, damn, never mind) has been targeting drunk women walking alone at night, raping and murdering them, binding their wrists, and dumping them at construction sites right after taking chunks of hair as trophies. Meanwhile, at Attention, Inc, Jennifer Knowles and her boss/boyfriend David Willard make plans to meet later that night after Jennifer meets with her sister. Cut to--Jennifer's lifeless body left in a manner which, initially, looks consistent with that of the SAS. but it doesn't take long for Benson and Company to determine they're not dealing with the same guy. When they collar a perp and he admits to all four crimes but doesn't react to Jennifer's picture the same way he reacted to the other women's, Benson's all "uh-uh, something's not right here" and essentially tells Detective Perry to get the hell on with his stats because as far as she's concerned the case is not closed.

Based on sister Laura's information, the squad hones in on David's company, Attention, Inc. Weird things start happening. Whoever killed Jennifer had access to private info. The reliable rope guy walks back his original analysis and almost commits suicide. Barba recuses himself and telephones Benson to give her the news right as they are about to seize Attention, Inc.'s computers and, without a warrant, SVU is forced to leave.

Just when it looks like all is lost, Benson and Rollins find recovering alcoholic sister Laura in a bar and she reveals a cryptic detail about Jen "having it covered" because Jen knew how dangerous her boyfriend/boss was and in a move that would've made Sonia Paxton proud she used her Smart TV to record her murder. There is no verdict, but the episode was more about highlighting the ugly possibilities nefarious uses of technology pose for the justice system. Also, if aired in an order that made any sense, it could have stoked some fate-of-Barba speculation but....see below.

Ramblings:

Last week Zoe was on the stand on Tuesday, April 4 and this ep's scene cards were all dated early February so any continuity or multi-ep threads my boy KGF weaved in would have had to be cut. Barba's secret--that he gave money to a heroin addict and continues to support her daughter--would have been more alarming if his return was up in the air, but he prosecuted Tate Donovan last week in late March/early April and he's credited in The Newsroom, so he's not going anywhere (unlike Tucker) at least not in the immediate future/past. That final OMB hand-on-heart scene would've been a lot more powerful if we really did believe that friendship and working relationship was in jeopardy.

In an earlier scene when Barba is all tight-lipped about his recusal, OMB gives him one of her best-ever WTF faces. I love it when they argue and also when the argument makes sense (unlike last week's office exchange).

The burner cell found outside of Willard's apartment seemed a little too convenient especially since Benson herself admits Willard is good at cleaning up messes, but that was probably Eid having his hands in the writing (he probably thought the ep was running to closely to the #42minutes even thought it clocked in at just over 41).

Unless Barba's a #34B I think we can maybe dock the #Barisi ship, but the ribbing from Rollins and Fin was gold as was everyone having brightly colored post-its covering webcams...but seriously...

And speaking of Fin, he's never addressed using his title even though he passed the Sergeant's exam last week but that was in March and this was in February so that explains the deleted scene on the courthouse steps but not why this ep and last week's ep couldn't have been flip-flopped. Whatever. Why am I still asking questions? It's Eid's Earth man, we're just living in it.

But, gawwwwd, hopefully not for much longer.

Ain't No Party Like An #SVU Party:

It's early! Iced coffee in a pint glass. That's how I roll.

Fashion:

Benson's blazer collection has been refreshed and I approve of them all--the powder blue, the gray, the camel, and Detective Perry with his sleek scarves and snazzy shirts and ties could potentially rival Raffie, but I don't think he's sticking around much longer, but that's fine because even with the little redeeming joke at the end, Perry pissed me off.

Quotable:

"What are we looking for? A talking toaster?"
"TARU's got a thousand mega terabytes they gotta go through."
Fin, I'm with ya bud. This uber-high-tech-shit makes me long for the days of the beeper. Wait, no it doesn't, I love my phone and Twitter too much even though I have about 90% of users muted not that they care.

"You're a professional Googler?"

"Under her sink...is that some kind of sexual metaphor?" David, you're the villain but that shit was funny. Even so...Badass Benson putting the heat on ya in the interrogation room was fun to watch, you asshole.

"So the flaky sister's the most reliable witness in this entire case?" You know all about this, right, Rollins? BTW--your paranoid comment is unforgivable, but you do have a rep for spewing inane sarcasm without thinking, dontcha?

"So I should trust you but you don't trust me?" The anguish and incredulity in Benson's voice...how does Mariska Hargitay not have a closet full of Emmys?

"Not everything done in the dark is shameful." Benson and Barba exchanges were perfect throughout the entire episode. It was almost like whoever writing it was familiar with the characters.

Is it Next Wednesday, Yet?

I started this heading back when I was excited about the show (and also when #Tuckson was still a thing). Hopefully this upcoming hiatus is filled with a renewal for Season 19 and also for a continuation of the following pattern:

Fingers Crossed! History matters, y'all!

Eidteen 14: Benson Knows Best

Recap:

At a swanky after party, twenty-something junior banker Zoe is reminded by her “mentor” Roger that smart young Wall Street types do not say “no” to Kings of Wall Street such as Eli Colton, so she reconsiders Eli’s offer of uber expensive wine and…cut to the next morning and an awkward encounter at the office between Zoe and Eli tells us that $3500 glass of wine turned into something more sinister as if being able to afford to drop millions on cases of rare vintage wine isn’t disturbing enough. Later on, Zoe arrives at the precinct to report the rape and names her attacker whose picture is on the front page of the Ledger which is conveniently placed on Benson’s desk…*insert eye roll #1 here. The squad starts interviewing witnesses and, surprise, surprise, not only does Zoe admit going to the bedroom (eye roll #2), the model/prostitute-for-hire and almost every other witness tells the detectives that Zoe’s behavior was flirtatious and “determined.” So, true to #SVUeidteen form, the victim “asked for it” (after all she went to his bedroom and was KISSING HIM because that’s consent in EidEarth) and nobody fucking bats an eyelash and Eli admits to consensual sex and there’s an email which kinda dings Zoe’s story (but who on Earth thought she really sent that email anyway?). Olivia sees the light (literally) and they find the coke dealer and Carisi goes UC for a few minutes to give the guy a reason to talk, which he does, but Eli all but rips the wire out of Harry-the-Coke-Dealer’s shirt while they’re having their extortion/bribery convo. Nothing seems to be going their way, but Benson goes all corporate on the firm’s CEO who has surreptitiously been video and voice recording every inch of the firm’s space since the beginning of time, so they have the evidence except in the meantime Zoe’s been offered a cool 20 million to shut up and get over it in the form of a job offer which was clearly arranged by Eli and she’s about to take it until Benson throws in the D-word (and also Kate—another one of Eli’s victims), and in the most boring court scene ever filmed in the Barba era, Zoe testifies and I’m assuming they get the conviction.

Ramblings:

Blah blah blah blah blah. This was boring.

#SVUEidteen no longer is all about “Who did it?” It’s all about “How many people other than the actual criminal can we blame for it?” Eli was a totally loathsome character, but I didn’t hate him like I should have because there were so many other people to hate in the episode and one of those people was very very very almost Olivia Margaret Benson herself.

Eli’s the bad guy, but Roger is just as bad, if not worse. He, too, is a predator and I can’t believe we wasted stupid ass screen time on Harry (I’ll get to him in a second) and none on Roger and maybe his family and maybe his demise and maybe also Zoe’s anguish as she processes what happened with her options. I for one was screaming TAKE THE MONEY and I know that is unfair and horrible, but without more Zoe (maybe, perhaps, her being advised by Kate and not by the perpetually dour and sanctimonious and condescending Lt. OMB), I honestly was hoping she’d stick to her original decision to take the job and maybe OMB slips her Lindstrom’s card on the way out.

List of things that didn’t make sense (Eye rolls 3, 4, and 5).

1.       Mmmmkay, Harry the coke dealer who TELLS CARISI HE IS WELL AWARE OF THE RISK OF HIS PROFESSION, just LETS Carisi come in? Without calling to check? Dude’s got a hella lotta product in his oven to be so careless and I can’t imagine the dealer to the financial elite would do something like that. Sure, Benson, maybe he would dress into a clown suit to avoid prison, but that doesn’t square—if he’s so squirrely and freaked out and paranoid he would’ve never let Carisi in….

2.       Barba, at his most skeptical ever (NOW, IF THIS IS EXPLAINED IN CONTEXT with his “secret” I’ll issue an immediate mea culpa), goes from whining about more evidence and “we can’t prove it” to “of course, let’s find another way to bury this prick” in a matter of seconds in what has to be the oddest conversation in Barson history.

3.       Lastly, a seasoned cop like Fin surely would not be that impressed with Eli’s apartment. At least, okay, make the “where I grew up” comment once but then leave it alone. And Benson’s just like, yeah whatever, shut up and investigate before she (like the victim) gets nearly blinded by the light reflected off the terrace door and of course OMB is not processing an assault and that leads them to Harry…see above.

Ain’t No Party Like An SVU Party

I honestly don’t remember what I was drinking, but I’m in an airport bar right now with this:

**Airport WIFI SUCKS BUT TRUST ME I'M DRNKING

and yes the typo was on purpose.

Fashion

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but AJ is not impressed. And, shockingly, the outfit Zoe was wearing in the tape shown in court was the same one she was wearing in the morning after footage, so, score one for continuity.

However, I must admit, picturing Harry in a clown suit did make me chuckle a little.

Sometimes you have to laugh.

Also…we saw CARMEN who is always so cute in her little dresses. Yep. Scraping the bottom of the barrel here, guys, bear with me.

Quotable

“Excuse me?”

“And you…because you’re the bastard that helps him cover it up.”

Rollins to the prostitute model after she said she was thrilled she didn’t have to sleep with Eli and then to Roger after he’s all…”I’m a money maker, not a pimp.” Rollins gets an A for sarcasm in this ep, particularly when she throws Eli’s love for efficiency in his face when he’s arrested.

“Let’s focus on his enemies because his friends are too busy getting rich off him.” This was another #SVUeidteen Benson quote that I suppose was written with good intentions but came off as insincere and amateurish. OMB doesn’t talk like this. She sounds silly. And it sounds like MH knows she sounds silly. And, finally:

“COLLAR HER AS A HOSTILE WITNESS???????????????????????????????????????????????????????”

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

Is it Next Wednesday, Yet?

What a dreadful thing to think about.

After watching the preview clips, I will tell you one thing, if these motherfuckers removed Tuckson from our screens they better not fucking so much as gently hint at a Perry-Benson relationship.

Fin’s probably passed the Sergeant’s exam but I wish it was Rollins and I also wish OMB would let Rollins be her friend, but, #42Minutes so never mind.

I’m sure Barba’s secret is something like his “designer” wear is actually an assortment of knock-offs, so don’t worry about bracing yourselves.

In other news, I spent too much money on vacation as usual, but, alas! I’m planning to make inroads in the Chinese weight loss market.

Thanks for the tip, Harry.