18.5: Another BenSON of a Partner...

The Case in 185 Words:

Wannabe

Ellis Griffin arrives at Mom and Dad’s home with an expensive bottle of wine and news that he’s been promoted to fixed income trader at Goldman Sachs. Congrats, brother. So, he heads off to a Halloween party where he spends time on the sidelines but eventually pursues the sister of the girl he dated (once—does that qualify as dating?). We go from “it’s hot in here” to a British witness accusing Ellis of rape and he’s taken to SVU where a bespectacled Benson is all like “Damn, if I woulda left three minutes earlier I’d be heading home to cuddle with Ed and now I’m here. Fuck.” In the meantime, the rape’s going viral and for extra fun the rapist’s dad is the OP—original partner who also covered OMB’s rookie ass three decades or whatever or so ago. Obviously she must simply advise Ellis to stop having sex with unconscious women and send him on his way. Nope. The squad pursues the case. Deal. No deal. Trial. Barba rips apart a fake witness and Judge Barth ships Ellis to prison for twenty-four months.

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words:

Per the Uzh, we'll start with the serious and move to the playful, shall we?

Disclaimer: I am suspicious of all men except for Ed Tucker so Ellis rubbed me the wrong way (ewww) from the get-go even though everyone knew he was the Brock Turner but his smarminess at the party made my skin crawl and my husband made the unfortunate mistake of touching me on his way from the kitchen to the room where I stow him on SVU nights and I seriously took a swipe at him. No joke. He thought it was flirty and I'll allow him to keep thinking that.

My issue numero uno: I was confused at first (and, no, I hadn't even been drinking..much) because, unless this dude is the Doogie Howser of finance, I was pretty sure he was an ADULT and how in the hell can Dad shut down the interview but, ok, he's a cop, and I get that part, but, STILLLLL. 

Instead of getting all pissed off and throwing shade all over Twitter I realized that the writers are really telling it like it is and COPS DO THIS SHIT. In my job I DO THIS (albeit, my professional courtesies are more along the lines of I let somebody skip ahead in the lunch line. Shhhh). 

Thank God, Allah, Jehovah, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (yes, this is a thing, see the November issue of The Atlantic) and everything else and fate and luck that I've never been a victim of sexual assault, but the one person I knew who HAD been a victim DID NOT want to relive it, testify, see the guy, NOTHING. So, I didn't really see anything wrong with the first plea deal. HOWEVER, the way it played out seemed like OMB was pushing for a plea deal and that's not the only moment I thought was a little rushed and perhaps not very well thought out and I hate to type that about people like JM and BY because I love them and want to be them when I grow up. Once again, we have a murky case and I suspect that thread won't go away this season but the murkiness opens the door for clarity and learning and I'm wondering how many men my age were watching the show or women my age were watching the show and reminiscing about college days and wide-eyed thinking.............well, I know I was. I'm not sure that, fifteen years ago when I was in college, many people would've batted an eye at this rape or the Brock Turner rape.  And I'm almost drawing blood biting my lip while I'm typing this because I hate living in a world where we have to teach teenagers these things but I also hate living in a world where when these assaults happen they go unreported and untreated.

Also, sometimes the Internet sucks.

SERIOUS OUT....

I would like to extend and honest thank-you to the writers for not inserting some contrived parallel Noah storyline because the dialogue certainly lent itself to that...."our only son" and "save my son, now matter what, no matter how" and OMB not knowing Patrick had a son in the first place I was waiting for a comeback, such as, "and I didn't know you had one." BTW-anyone catch any new office photos? I forgot to look. And as much as I miss my Noey, I HATE the contrived case-personal life parallels and, yes, I know I'm getting picky and I can't have it all, and I should just go write my own show but I kind of do, see MarigoldMusings on FanFiction.

Anywho, OMB is NOT in a "romantic relationship" with Lucy as far as I know, so Dear Julie Martin and Brianna Yellen WTF couldn't you have her do the whole Siri thing with TUCKER????? GAWWWD. Remember cassette tapes? And kind of how you'd wear them out if you played the same song and rewound it to play it over and over. Goddamn I'm glad You Tube and Hulu don't have a glitch like that FFS. #TUCKSON 

I don't know how defense attorneys (real or imagined) can sleep at night. "Not too anxious I hope?" I hissed at that line. Seriously. I hissed. 

I cannot be the only one who was waiting for OMB to agonizingly reveal she and Griffin had slept together. The tone of her voice, the innuendo, all signs pointed to a little bit of mixing work with pleasure or even, gasp, payback for lying to IAB for OMB, but as it turns out, Patrick was only a contemptible human being when it came to his son. Also, IAB was mentioned way too much and I am certain that is intentional, passive, subtle, #Tuckson torture and I will submit a formal indictment first thing Monday morning.

Style Guide

Leather.

Leather trench.

Leather cropped jacket.

Hargiglasses.

Purple suede blazer that I would risk foreclosure for.

You people are killing me.

But why the Sergeant's badge on OMB? Just looked better against the Hargileather backdrop? Yeah, I thought so, too.

Fic Writers Could Fill In The Blanks With:

This is getting redundant. 

#Tuckson Complications

But, ya know what, I want some Rollins-Benson moments. Nice ones. Not the ones where one of 'em is going rogue and the other one gets pissed.

Ain't No Party Like An SVU Watch Party

Last of this Pumpkin crap. I bet Tucker hates this gimmicky bullshit.

Quotable:

It's not great to have sex like that by the garbage. Ellis, I hate you.

Ellis made a rookie mistake. When will Twitter create the ability to digitally/virtually punch someone in the eye?

His first mistake was humping a passed out girl. Amen, Gramps.

It's complicated. But there was a little grin. A little one. Right? Right? I'm dying here, OMB. 

I'll allow, witness will answer.

I think you already did, son.

JUDGE BARTH!!!!

Also, have I mentioned IAB was mentioned too much for comfort? I can't remember, I'm finishing the pumpkin ale as I type.

Is it Next Wednesday Yet?

Well, yet another Tucker mention with no Tucker and no context and I'm really losing my patience with this relationship because I thought we could never be happier and now we're complicated and I KNOW we're endgame, but I need a status update, a serious one, not just a throwaway mention like we got in this ep and BOBBY BURKE are you on vacay or something? 

Okay, okay, calm down, my prediction/assumption is that OMB and Tucker are just having trouble because of his new job and her redonk busy job and OMB's gonna have a breakdown about wanting to be good at everything and Tucker's gonna just say, "you know what, Olivia Margaret Benson, let's take care of one uncertainty right now" and whip out a ring and propose and there'll be tears but also #Tuckson end game reality and we can go back to fighting sex crimes.

MH did exceptional work in this ep. Her expressions were pained and layered and so raw and real. I think we saw her grow up and turn a corner in this episode; she put a long buried skeleton behind her. And there's a difference between burying something and truly making it a part of the past.

Griffin stubbed out a smoke on the courthouse steps there at the end. Anyone else notice that? Anyone else think about the ELBOW GRAB?

Ok, let's prep for another no-Tucker week, actually, a no-Tucker two weeks with a real election and a fake election mixed in.

Oh goodie.

"No charge."

Rape Kits Are Free.

18.4--JuLine Brings Back SVU

The Case in 184 Words:

Jenna Miller is drunk and clubbing and picking up johns but then she’s on a rooftop ledge in her torn dress. Instead of taking the fatal fall, she coaches herself to leap between two buildings. Later that morning, she’s found by two officers who take her to the hospital. Eventually she discloses that she’d been raped. Jenna’s evasive, so Benson and Rollins dig more deeply and it comes out that Jenna and Chad, her husband, are protecting her brand because she’s a potential 2020 Olympic pole vaulter and if her dalliances come out she’s ruined. As the investigation continues, the detectives find out Michael Wheeler has a pattern of raping hookers. After a controlled meet, Wheeler goes on trial, but…Jenna sort of strips in the courtroom. Rollins goes kind-of rogue once again but Carisi’s with her so no harm no foul and there’s a come to Jesus moment on the track. However, the damage has been done as far as the trial was concerned, Wheeler takes a plea, Jenna goes on meds, and Kim Rollins ends up not fucking up Rollins’ life after all.

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words

After three episodes of what I consider Mr. New Showrunner conducting an "I wonder if they'll like this type of SVU" experiment, thank you Julie and Celine for reintroducing me and a few other people to the show!

Let's start with the serious; then, we'll get a bit more snarky and whimsical, kay?

I rewatched with the intention of getting all snarky about the detectives because they should've noticed the mental illness sooner, riiiiight? Jules and Ce-Ce (my nicknames) did a fabulous job making everyone else look suspicious throughout almost the entire ep. I went from thinking hubs Chad was too overbearing and the Manhattan nights were simply all about Jenna needing to get away from him. Then I thought he was tacitly endorsing the prostitution because pursuing Olympic goals had drained their finances. The agent looked suspicious for a hot second and, call me Ed Tucker, but I thought hmmmm, what if the agent found out what she was doing way earlier than this ep and suggested he would keep quiet if she gave him a cut but then again he's a high-profile agent and wouldn't be all about that chump change but maybe he would be all about the POWER he wielded over her...but that wasn't the reality either.

Jenna being less-than-forthcoming at first and then reluctant to testify did not surprise me one bit. OMB and Rollins were absolutely right to attempt to protect her and also get justice, albeit not the justice a truly non-judgemental less-misogynistic society really should support and encourage. The fact that a victim must risk so much (more) personal loss in order to put a rapist behind bars sickens me, but this is NOT THE SHOW'S FAULT nor is it its creation. It's a challenge for us to get better. When Jenna said "I can't risk the publicity" I STG a dagger lodged in my heart.

Finally, did anyone else catch Chad on the track telling Jenna he'd been protecting her for years? The real problem here was the stigma of mental illness, particularly in professional sports. Chad knew something was going on...he had known for a long fucking time...but her career would have been over sooner if she went public with her bipolar disorder which would have been inevitable because I'm pretty sure the meds would've shown up in mandatory drug tests...right? So, again, if we're looking for someone to blame...the real culprit is societal norms...everything else is tangential. The verdict, while disappointing on multiple levels, was the best Barba could do (considering the jury is made up of people from SOCIETY who may or may not harbor strong feelings one way or another about mental illness and also I don't think Raffie would get to voir dire them again and ask about it). 

Okie dokie, let's pivot to some light-heartedness, run on sentences, incorrect grammar, and other usage errors (sorry, former English teachers). Also, I've already been guilty of all of the above in the first part of the post. IDK why I pay for Grammarly...

KIM! Kimmy Kim Kim. Kelli Giddish makes me crack the fuck up when she forces that little sarcastic smile like she did at the parole hearing and at home when sister Kim was spouting off the "fortune cookie philosophy." If I would've rolled my eyes any more vigorously they would've dislodged from the cornea or retina or whatever nerve thing that makes them stay in there. I was SURE the final scene would be Miss Manipulative being led out of Amanda's apartment in handcuffs as a result of a parole violation and Rollins turning her in because Mama Bear was TAKING THAT FUCKING SHIELD (and, was it just me, or did OMB look kinda pained when she delivered that warning? Simon flashbacks, anyone?). Like, I would've bet MONEY on reoffending Kim (and not, like, $2 MegaMillions Ticket money, either).

I do have mixed feelings about the (too) neat ending and I would not be opposed to the writers not always making the characters' personal stories sync so neatly with the cases. It's starting to feel a little too predictable and contrived, yes I know the whole show is contrived in some ways but stillllllll.....

Barba covering Jenna with his coat and getting some boob action made me LOL at the gym while I was running on the treadmill which made other people give me strange looks but I'm used to it by now. 

Style Guide

I appreciated the squad's BLACKOUT that was hot and also Fin and Liv had on sort-of matching leather-accented blazers which was also hot and also no surprise that I'm fangirling over it because my affinity for leather-accented blazers is not exactly a state secret. 

Jenna wins the gold for the red leather jacket; Santa please bring me one but you're gonna have to go up about ten sizes please and thank you.

Fic Writers Could Fill in the Blanks With

#EveryRelationshipHasItsSecrets

#Tuckson

The conversation OMB had when she went home to Tucker after telling Rollins she would take her shield and also wherever OMB was when they set the trap for Wheeler.

Ain't No Party Like An SVU Watch Party

When I'm the boss or at least in charge of scheduling meetings I will only make people come in at 7:30 on Thursdays on hiatus weeks. Had to take it easy...

Just one...I swear (to prove it, my Tweets were way more coherent).

Quotable:

"For now we work around her not with her."

"We all have a lot of pressure." (spoken by Rollins and followed by Kim Interruptus and we were all like, oh, man, not this again)

"Everything alright with you and Tucker?"

Yeah, ummmmm, what's the answer to that? And, having Carisi ask that question is adorbs, btw.

"It's his dream as much as mine."

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 

Is It Next Wednesday Yet?

After Rollins was sort-of praised or at least not admonished by her boss, she returns home to a reality check because she assumes the worst but actually Kim's been suffering for a long time and she "never asked" because as I think she realizes there at the end, she's always seen her sister as an obstacle and a pain in the fucking ass...anything but a human being. Rollins can be an unforgiving hard-ass and motherhood has intensified that characteristic, but I'm wondering if we'll see a different side of Amanda moving forward, especially if Kim hangs around which is cool with me because I just cannot believe the sisters will skip off happily into the sunset.

Dear Julie and Celine, you are KILLING ME with the most recent #Tuckson reference. COME ON, ladies, that was NOT FAIR and, again, there's not RJB in sight so how long am I gonna have to wait for this resolution? What are these secrets? What's WRONG? OH, wait, I know...it's just that OMB is so busy and so is Tucker, but OMB wants to be a good mother and a good future wife and a good Lieu and she's feeling like someone will get shortchanged and Tucker doesn't deserve that because he's such a good man. OMB! Listen to ME! Tucker said it will last! He said ALWAYS! He said he's not goin' anywhere! LET YOURSELF BE LOVED, SISTER! 

BTW, I'm ok with things being complicated off-screen as long as when Tucker is ON SCREEN it's all unicorns and rainbows and thigh-grabbing. Oh, who am I kidding? Consistently complicated #Tuckson could force me to up therapy sessions to twice a month. Once for real life and once for the fake lives of fake people on a TV SHOW. Surely people seek help for more outlandish reasons????

Please please please can we have the Dodds-OMB convo soon so Liv can get on the path to forgiving herself? Ultimately, I think forgiveness will be the running thread throughout this season...at least in the characters' personal lives.

But, you know what? OMB looks too damn gooooooood to be dealing with any serious relationship troubles. But still, that little scene was Kevin G. Fox evil.

This was OMB in Barba's office in Manhattan Transfer. Similar to the look she gave Carisi. Conclusions?

Is this next ep the purple dress ep? If so, Tucker isn't there and that saddens me because I read this fic about Tucker loving OMB in that purple dress and I was hoping it would become canon. 

Was I dreaming about the Barba threats?

Will Noah get into the fancy school?

Will OMB and Rollins become besties? Also, I looooooooooove the way the squad is interacting with one another. Hearts hearts hearts and I'm SURE we'll get the Christmas Party. I will forgive the #Tuckson tease and also the first three episodes if we get the Christmas Party (incl. Tucker), or Christmas morning with the Tuckers, or (and I cannot take credit for this) but some TucksoNookie, or something more serious which I'm not even gonna type for fear that typing it will ensure it will not come true.

Where's the LOGUE??????????????????????

I'm leading the Rollins-for-Sarge campaign. Hit me up on Twitter if you want a yard sign.

See ya for live tweeting on 10/26; unless, of course, the dueling fandom factions break Twitter.

Peace, ya'll.

18.3--Wasting Time/Eidunno What Happened to OMB

The Case in 183 Words

Overzealous helicopter parent is willing to trade sex in exchange for admission to the suddenly-prestigious Hudson University, but the admissions director isn’t the admissions director so the mother self-medicates and is found unconscious in the tub of hotel room. Someone resembling Olivia Benson convinces Laura Collett that she was raped. Even though Rafael Barba points out that what happened did not amount to a crime under New York law, he takes the case to trial anyway and is verbally smacked around a few times by Judge Bertuccio who basically tells out Raffie that he’s not merely overreached but made an irresponsible decision in prosecuting the case and, oh, by the way, the judge will overturn a guilty verdict if, in fact, the jury reaches that decision. The character resembling Lieutenant Benson is all like, wtf? at this and Barba explains he has no choice but to plea Tom out with misdemeanor criminal impersonation and Benson’s like, well that sucks, and goes off to tell Laura who has bigger problems because her son, embarrassed and publicly humiliated, took a suicidal nosedive from the balcony.

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words

Wait a sec while I take a puff from my oxygen tank...

First of all, I have a VERY FUCKING HARD TIME believing that this over-involved parent had not registered thousands of clicks on Hudson University's website and surely would have recognized Tom Metcalf as a fraud immediately since, well, Tom's white and the admission guy's black, but oh well, I guess Rick Eid and Gavin Harris aren't familiar with the power of the Internet except for that stupid line about a professor's Instagram page almost like they were sitting around and recognized that plot hole and were like, hmmm, maybe those rabid wacko fans won't notice?

Second of all...and hate me for pointing this out if you want, but WHY does everyone just kind of give Laura Collett a pass for prostituting herself out like that? And by not acknowledging THIS reprehensible, immoral, and unethical decision, her son's suicide seems like a warning to people not to come forward after a sexual assault rather than the desperate act of a teenager unable to handle the pressure of extraordinarily intense expectations and the reality that his mother was willing to do something so drastic for something that didn't really matter to him.

And, excuuuuuuuuuuse me for noticing that once upon a time Warren Leight and Company laid the #Tuckson track (albeit surreptitiously at first but thank you very much) and now it seems that Rick Eid is intent on ripping up the rails like General fucking Sherman's troops and I don't like this one bit. LUCY??? LUCY IS TALKING TO NOAH'S TEACHER??? I get it...she's kinda part of the family but THROW US A BONE, DAMNIT! All you had to do was hit backspace four times and replace "Lucy" with ED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, FFS. EFF EFF ESS! For Fuck's SAKE! The few seconds of Noah/Preschool/Language Development Probs/Fancy school was a thinly developed and almost throwaway setup to parallel whole getting into school frenzy that prompted Mommy to fuck the admissions director who was not the admissions director. Are we supposed to assume OMB was going home and concluding that if Noah did not get into a fancy school he'd be a public school vet like Tom and end up having to lie to bed attractive, well-to-do women? But how would we know? We didn't get to see that part because we had to spend time with some greasy-looking doorman whose character had absolutely no point and also we had to keep seeing Judge Bertuccio browbeat Barba for taking this non-crime to trial.

Speaking of the Judge, ok, yeah, I get it, maybe we're headed for a set up where Barba runs for political office and that maybe clouds or changes his judgement and further drives a wedge between him and Benson but this seemed more like a case of Barba unwilling to say NO to Olivia Margaret Benson or whoever that person is. The Barba I know wouldn't have rolled over so easily. 

And while we're on the subject of politics, I seem to remember Chief Dodds snarkily telling Olivia that she didn't have a political bone in her body...OMB is NOT. IS. NOT. someone who pursues an agenda and she spent all fucking episode not only pursuing an agenda but pursuing one that was, simply, unattainable. Even good old Fin was tacitly calling bullshit. This characterization is so far away from what I know that I almost expected the closing scene to be Olivia calling the headmaster of a fictional Dalton school and arranging a little wink-wink nod-nod tryst to secure sweet Noah's future.

Style Guide

The men stole the show here. Both Carisi and Barba were on point with their tailored suits and, damn, I never get sick of anticipating which snazzy tie Barba will wear next. OMB recycled a couple of blazers, but the olivey-brownish getup she sported in the closing scenes is one I shall replicate in the near future. An unbuttoned top button occurred again and if there was a Tucker I'm sure he'd dig that look but apparently RJB is, like, really busy or something so...

Can Amanda just go back to her plaid?

Fic Writers Could Fill In The Blanks With...

#Tuckson's "complicated" relationship because it's kind of hard for things to be complicated when only one half of the ship is included in the writing....

Ain't No Party Like An #SVU Watch Party

I pregamed at my friend's birthday celebration where I seemed to be under the impression that it was my birthday, so...I opened this bottle when I got home but my husband told me I couldn't have any of it. What a drag.

Garnacha

Quotable

"It's too early to be that jaded."

"Next time I'll wait til noon."

(Is the third episode too early to panic?)

"We were happy. At least, I thought we were." 

(Samesies, Mr. Collett)

"How do I look?"

"Like a cop."

(YES, YOU DO LOOK LIKE A COP, MR. SONNY CARISI AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT)

"You know what's overrated? Wireless and putting lemon in water. I don't get that."

#ArtisanPickles

Is It Next Wednesday Yet?

Sometimes, on days that are not Wednesdays, I zone out and look longingly at the calendar and think about the next #SVU episode and all it might offer but right now I'm...not that person. 

3.0 will be end.point.oh if this continues. 

The characters' lives are what made 2.0 so successful and made me, personally, reinvested in the show. I get it...it's a cop show, but these fake people are PEOPLE and seeing them deal with their own personal challenges in addition to the pressures of a sometimes very ugly job made the plots real and helped the audience connect to the characters and the story. 

I can't help but wonder if even the actors themselves have been thrown for a loop with this new approach because I seem to remember MH all giddy and shit about "new beats" to play moving forward and by new beats I really think she meant #Tuckson and not learning a COMPLETELY NEW CHARACTER.

I am so beyond annoyed at the absence of #Tucker I am literally concerned that I'll damage my keyboard because I'm typing so forcefully. I'm starting to believe that Terrorized might be the peak of S18 #Tuckson and the new guy is content with just leaving that relationship as kind of an off-screen thing and that REALLY PISSES ME OFF and not just because RJB is freaking gorgeous. 

So they mentioned Carisi's #lawyergoals and the banter between him and Rollins was probably the best part of the episode; however, Carisi this season and at the end of last season seems to be really into being a good cop but maybe he'll step into Barba's role if and when Raf runs for office? Or when he gets killed because, again, WAS HE OR WAS HE NOT THREATENED BY SOME BX9 THUG IN THE S17 FINALE? Seriously, ya'll. I swear that happened.

Errrrrybody hold on to your expensive band instruments. KIM'S outta prison. However, if her appearance follows what seems to be Rick Eid's MO, it'll occur in the opening scene for a twenty-or-so second spot, and sort of affect Rollins' perspective throughout whatever uninteresting case Eid's people come up with but otherwise be a non-issue and we'll never hear from or about her again. In Eid's office I bet he's covered a wall with WL's characters and beloved storylines and Eid spends a few minutes each day blindly throwing darts at the wall and whatever is hit is what he'll destroy next. Random, because, the season so far is random and also because the shuffling of episodes after they've already been filmed sort of works against continuity. Insert one dozen angry emojis here.

At the very least, MH/OMB has looked HOT this season and maybe that's another read-between-the-lines thing because she's so happy and in love and oh gawwwwwwwd here I go with #Tuckson again.

Where the hell's the rest of that wine?

18.2: When Getting It Right Feels Kind Of Wrong

The Case in 182 Words

Vice President Biden honors Benson and SVU for their work in clearing the rape kit backlog and as she accepts the accolades, Olivia tearfully announces that testing the kits resulted in the exoneration of Sean Roberts who went to prison at age eighteen for raping Melanie Harper. Things go south quickly with SVU being called to the Harper residence early the next morning. Ashley has been raped, doused with bleach, and burned. The detectives eventually end up at Roberts' apartment. Sean has an injured hand and an alibi…which falls apart quickly. Ashley dies, Charlie identifies Sean, SVU and company go back to the apartment with a warrant where Fin finds Ashley’s engagement ring in the drain and, ok, back to prison ya go, Mr. Roberts. But it’s not that simple because when is it ever that simple and what Barba at first sees as a fairly easy case to prosecute quickly mangles and almost is torpedoed until our favorite ADA hostile-witnesses Melanie (the original victim) and he’s so good that a chastened Buchanan asks for and gets a plea deal for Sean. 

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words

Stop me if you've heard this one. THE SHOW NEEDS TO BE LONGER. Ninety minutes. Or more two-parters. This one left me staring (albeit a bit bleary-eyed from the alcohol) at the beginning of whatever show comes on after SVU wondering how on Earth and hour can pass so quickly and also...

Could we not have had a little more Finfo? Such as...the background to the original case? I know "Talkin's overrated" but would it have been possible to see a little bitty snippet of introspective Fin? Like a convo between him and Amanda in a bar or him and Carisi in a bar or him and OMB in a bar or..I KNOW...him and Liv in the office having a heart-to-heart and then Fin picks up a new framed photo of the Tuckers in Paris and he shifts gears into Grandpa (I know, I know, it's Fin) mode and then maybe she gets a text from Ed and is all like "I gotta go" and Fin is like "yeah, don't wanna keep him waiting" and OMB smiles kinda mischievously, and they walk out together? I'm not trying to type words onto the writers' scripts or anything, but...oh, who am I kidding? Yes I am.

I CANNOT be the only viewer who was whimsically smiling at the good ole Veep as he commended SVU and thinking, as the camera panned the onlookers, that ED FUCKING TUCKER would be front and center with a proud and perhaps a bit lustful smirk on his face? Y'all couldn't have called RJB in for a few minutes that day? I KNOW it wasn't like there were security clearance issues or anything. Jeez Louise if #Tuckson is #Tuckson there would be no fucking way Tucker would miss his boo getting that honor and, btw, don't you imagine Tucker and Biden getting along really well? #DrinkingBuddies

So, I was certain Benson was going to have another closed-door sesh with Rollins after the spat in Barba's office, but I was proud of Mama Bear for keeping it cool and sending everyone out. I am hoping against hope that Fin's Sergeant's exam griping was a red herring and it's Rollins who actually will take the test and get the promotion. 

The whole Charlie thing reminded me of Holden and also of the kid with Pica who was molested by Dr. Keppler and ended up shooting and beating the life out of him because the Doc called him stupid...wtf was that kid's name? Jeffrey? Barba was as compassionate as ever outside the court room ("You'll be fine") and I don't care what his IQ is...he pissed me off because Rollins did nothing wrong there...now we're detective-blaming because she's attractive????????????????????

I am very shocked the episode didn't end with the old person with loads of unbearable guilt and also a bleak future pulls the court officer's gun and blows her brains out on the court steps a la the former QB with brain damage...what was HIS name? Damn. Did I ever mention I'm bad with names (even real people's)? I'm really good with Twitter handles though...anyway...lemme get this straight. Melanie Harper was raped. Melanie Harper's ID was wrong (I think...still a little fuzzy on that one because she did ID Sean Roberts and also who's to say there wasn't a problem with evidence collection or Sean worked in conjunction with a partner or he's good at destroying or damaging DNA). Melanie Harper and her daughter, big hearted as they are, help Sean get on his feet. Sean gets all fucked up. Sean, drunk and also irreparably damaged from being raped and brutalized in prison, rapes and kills Ashley after she laughs at him. So, as Barba so helpfully walks us through in court, because of her bad ID, Melanie the victim is now Melanie the rapist, murderer, and hell, while we're at it, let's blame her for me having to choose between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton on November 8.

JFC.

Style Guide

Ok, so, this is what happened. Ed Tucker loves OMB in leather SO MUCH that she's purchased a few new pieces (she has extra cash because they've moved in together and are now splitting expenses). Those of you following me on Twitter know how I feel about OMB's wardrobe so excuse the redundancy but those leather-accented blazers at the beginning of the ep were so freaking redonk that I went directly to Madewell.com among others, filled carts with thousands of dollars of OMB-esque merchandise, and then realized I was breaking my "no buying under the influence" rule and I slammed that laptop shut and thanked myself this morning (silver linings because I had a wicked hangover).

Rollins buttons the top blouse button and OMB does not. That's what happens when ya have an Ed Tucker in your life I guess.

Fic Writers Could Fill In The Blanks With...

Take your pick from the ideas already articulated above...#Tuckson sex post-VP visit--like, they're watching the news and they show the clip and he tosses his plate aside and to the bedroom they go and, IDK, say Noah is already asleep or they plop him in front of the TV or iPad (maybe he has some baby Beats by nwow?)...or maybe Tucker just whisks her away for a nooner at a hotel or something (I'm still on the fence about how far OMB would go in her office...in real fake life of course)...take that honor out to play, kids!

Ain't No Party Like An #SVU Watch Party

It was #NationalBeerDay or something...and I did the hashtag proud.

Quotable

"It's not your fault."

"Then whose is it?"

"Talkin's overrated."

And Barba's entire line of questioning Melanie...

And also the off-screen exchange when Tucker says "Olivia Margaret Benson, I'm so proud of you." and then he jokes about feeling threatened "you're not gonna leave me for the VP are ya?" Oh, Tucker.

Is It Next Wednesday Yet?

I've been bitching on Twitter all day about how I didn't like this ep but I've calmed down but it's still not on my list of "I'm sure the people at Hulu look at my viewing history and are like 'damn, IDK what meds that lady needs, but she needs somethin'' 

Tension between Barba and everyone else in NYC seems to be building and, um, I seem to remember his LIFE BEING IN DANGER at the end of S17, so I'd really like to know how all that's going or maybe he's just bunking with Carisi now and Sonny was like, don't be givin my address out, Raffie.

There was zero suspense. ZERO. Nobody thought Fin planted evidence. I thought there was something off about Sean from the get-go. And I absolutely hate what happened to Melanie. 

Did I also mention I happen to hate that there was no #Tuckson reference? 

I see the squad coming together and I see OMB continuing to grow into her leadership role, but I want more of that side and not just evidence gathering, arrest, trial, aftermath, someone's not happy, ok, let's start over. 

The engagement ring, upcoming wedding talk...to me that's all a tease, so nobody can say anything even loosely related to marriage on this show because I read too much into it and think it hints at #Tuckson and then I spend the rest of the night finishing what's left of my husband's Macallan 12 and watching #Tuckson clips.

Lastly, I thought the show "looked" a lot better this week and not like the cameramen were being carted around in rickshaws.

Really lastly, when's sister Kim coming back? God, I miss that crazy bitch.

18.1: Whose Job IS This Anyway?

The Case in 181 Words

OMB's morning in the park turns into a nightmare when an abandoned four-year-old points a loaded Glock at her. Fingerprints on the gun lead to Luka Terzic, and the search of his apartment signals a more nefarious scheme than any of the detectives anticipated. Despite a frantic investigation, Luka and his accomplice/victim Ana kill two people in Central Park. They flee and a sniper takes out Luka. While in custody, Ana claims she's been brutally raped, tortured, and held against her will by Luka and his brother for years. As the rest of the world pursues Ana's conviction with vengeful zeal, Benson investigates the rape claims, putting her at odds with Dodds and Barba. The formidable Rita Calhoun steps in as Ana's defense attorney and she and Benson go up against the least favorable circumstances on Earth to get justice for Ana who accepts a plea deal. The agreement gives Benson leverage to arrest the rapist and safely return Ali to his native Bosnia where he will live with his aunt (we all know how well that worked out for Mommy).

My Thoughts In Unlimited Words

Did Ali's response to Benson translate as "the bike crushed Auntie?" I am, in NO WAY, suggesting Noah is better off in anyone else's hands but DAMN! The kid's been exposed to more real life guns than I have been exposed to in my entire life. And I grew up near Detroit.

Now Rollins, seriously? You've made me question my entire domestic existence because I have the exact contents (minus the juice boxes but if there's a BOGO sale I'm not ruling them out) in my kitchen--cereal, milk, and takeout and, I guarantee you, there is no one under the age of thirty in my apartment. 

The first #Tuckson dose proved Ed's in love but still Tucker. I hope that dynamic between the two of them continues with him sticking to his pragmatic self while showering our OMB with love and happiness forever. The kid held a loaded gun on you. Even more dangerous. OMB appeared to be headed for a semi-breakdown when she talked about Noah but then deftly switched subjects (which she also did in the final scene of S17). I hope we get some Captain Tucker not allowing her to do that anymore. She's way too good at it.

At one point I was like, waymint. Barba is right. Dodds is right. Fuck this bitch and everything else that's happened in her life ever. Throw her American-hating-and-murdering ass in jail and send Ali with her. But then OMB stared us down a few times and, uh, ok, lemme reconsider. I did think it was a little odd that Luka and his brother prevented Ana from exercising her own free will yet allowed Ali to stay with her Aunt? Was the aunt also complicit? Was that why they were ok with that? Was that why the gun was in the backpack? Or was the gun just a little reminder of home Ali brought with him? Teddy Bear/Terrorist Version?

Everyone got their vests on?

Style Guide

Nothing terribly impressive in this ep except for Barba's suits which, yawn, are always impressive. In my next life I'll be a fictional Manhattan ADA. OMB in red always impresses but I kept thinking about how fucking hot she must be in that heavy-looking blazer on July 27 (my birthday, btw). Loved the white blazer, rather brave for a toddler mommy, I might add.

And for those of us constantly on the lookout for previously unseen jewelry...when Tucker (ADORABLY) plays with her hair in the last scene I think maybe he was sort of admiring a pair of newish earrings? Possibly purchased in Paris? I'm telling you, y'all, I really hope I don't have to have Here lies AJ, Still Waiting For #Tuckson Paris Pics etched on my tombstone.

Do people even do tombstones anymore?

Adding to the list of things I'd pay money to do is the chance to gently brush back Carisi's loose little curl before he asks me if I prefer veggie or traditional lasagna for dinner. Oh, wait. No lasagna. Bad memories. Rigatoni. Ravioli. Anything but the Bronwyn special. Nice call on the new do, Peter Scanavino...or SVU Style or whoever.

Looks like there's some new office furniture but all I could do was imagine which one Tucker and Benson will christen first.

Fic Writers Could Fill In The Blanks With...

This one's a no-brainer. Extension of the final scene? What happened that caused OMB and Tucker to meet after she almost got smoked by a preschooler? Fill in the blanks of the final scene because JFC, is it me or did they delete a kiss? I would also like to know about Tucker's new gig, but I suspect that will be revealed in due time, or it should be revealed because I swear to GAWWWD he said HNT had an opening, and I remember very clearly that he formerly served in that role, so I don't really see the problem with the switch. Maybe he trusts too much now? Maybe he prefers operating out of an office? IDK. Those writers who like to stick to canon may want to avoid this one. Every time I've wandered away my ficpredictions have NOT come true but I just laugh it off and tell myself it's because the writers are reading the fic and they don't want me to get a big head when they copy my ideas. LOL.

Anyone interested in a Dodds-centered fic? Me neither, but I'm not saying I won't read one.

Ain't No Party Like An #SVU Watch Party

Had a threesome, y'all!

Quotable

"And your people came here on the Mayflower?"

"I'm going to investigate a case everyone wants to ignore."

"I do, and so does she, and, trust me, that's enough." (More Benson-Rollins, por favor)

"Unless, of course, you're a Muslim woman accused of murder and then we just throw you under the patriotic bus and go on with our merry lives."

"I'm going to arrest that sonofabitch."

Is It Next Wednesday Yet?

If I gave this episode a grade and removed all #Tuckson-related emotions, I would give it a B-. I LOVE SVU. I really, really, really, really love it and its syndicated marathons and now Hulu and Netflix catalogues have helped me weather many hangovers. However, there was something about this episode that seemed off. 

Rita Calhoun, for one. She looked weird. I can't pinpoint exactly why. At first, I thought my TV was, like, too crystal clear. Her eyes? Hair? The fact she'd flippantly commented that former ME Carl Rudnick was paying for a better plea deal than what Barba was offering and now she's defending a possible TERRORIST? Did I miss the S17 ep where she decided she'd made enough money defending wealthy criminals and decided to help herself sleep at night by taking cases like Ana's? Her involvement originated in a way similar to A Misunderstanding...but she knew the family in that instance. She kind of came out of the blue here.

DISCLAIMER: I have zero background in anything that remotely has to do with cinematography, videography, photography, etc., etc., etc. So, excoriate me if you will, but the "look" of this episode was not appealing at all. Transitions between scenes and even among characters were choppy and almost haphazard. OMB went from no blazer to blazer, hair back to hair down, sharing a sweet moment with Tucker then suddenly walking off with him and Noah...it didn't flow smoothly...but maybe that was the point?

Overall, Terrorized set up a lot of arcs to be explored during the season. OMB obviously operating with a heightened sense of duty to protect her squad. Will her guilt end up clouding her judgement or make her think twice instead of using her instincts? The entire squad, Carisi in particular, operated with a chip on their shoulders and I'm sure this new togetherness mentality will culminate in (maybe/pretty please) a Christmas gathering at the Benson-Tucker residence complete with a sweet little toast and maybe some happy tears from OMB and then, of course, Tucker will kinda nuzzle her neck, and whisper "I love you" in her ear. Yep. I'm pretty confident that's how it'll play out.

Dodds did look truly remorseful after he blamed OMB for Mike's death. Maybe a heart-to-heart in the near future because honestly, the Chief's grief and attitude towards Benson became more and more annoying by the end of the episode and I hate to say that about a grieving father. When, exactly, does etiquette dictate us removing the "In Memorium" placard? I really hate myself for saying this, but it's been three months and that constant reminder may be more of an emotional and mental obstacle for Dodds than a source of comfort.

Barba toggled back and forth as OMB's friend/ally and principled adversary, and I usually hate it when they're at odds, but I kinda liked this and I eagerly anticipate more eps like this one.

Maybe the squad needs another detective, but...I want to see Fin-as-grandpa, Barisi or Rollisi, #TucksoNoah, and #Barson...is there room for another person? I'm not so sure. The eps already fly by and sometimes I feel like there's too much breadth and not enough depth. This could easily be solved with a two-hour or at least ninety-minute slot but that's not gonna happen so...I'm all for more special guest stars rather than a new permanent cast member.

And, in the category of clips I'll watch over and over was the final scene. Oh, my #Tuckson heart and soul and everything else. The fact that Olivia Margaret Benson verbalized her fears to Ed was such a breakthrough...and him? HIS FACE? I am planning to freeze frame that Tucker expression and make my husband imitate it UNTIL HE GETS IT RIGHT because everybody deserves to have someone look at them like that...just...GAHHHHHH.

The THAT'S NOT TRUE. NOT IF I CAN HELP IT? OMFG. How are any of us still alive? But, damn, Captain, put a RING on it at some point, pretty please and also I'm taking your words as not just fictional dialogue directed at a fictional character but as an assurance to the ENTIRE FANDOM that #Tuckson will last #always.

Bring on the VP!

Response to Guest Review

:It's a well written story but this chapter is why I dislike Tuckson. She's all I don't wanna be LT and he's I've told people you will so don't disappoint me - and she does! He's all man up, woman and she does and then months later he's on her back for manning up far too much - and she relents again. They're both so unrecognisable now. I hope this ship crashes into rocks, preferably very soon and with fatalities…



This review is why I don't like Guest Reviews. I cannot send a PM to this person to set her/him straight, so I have to use blog space to do it. Normally, I'd just ignore a review like this, but this person has clearly misinterpreted the show. 

The review is in response to Truce, Chapter 8, which addressed Tuckson in Parents Nightmare and Surrendering Noah. 

She's all I don't wanna be LT and he's I've told people you will so don't disappoint me - and she does!
The thing is, I really can't understand how ANYONE who has watched the show or has a clue about how ANY organization's hierarchy works would question Benson's actions here. Let's take Tuckson out of it and look at the scenario as plain old Lt. Tucker telling Sgt. Benson that she's going to lose her command if she doesn't move up in rank. So, you have Benson just getting comfortable in her leadership role but also trying to navigate life as a single mother. Sure, she'd be hesitant at first to take on the additional stress of preparing for the exam, but she really has no choice here. That scene was NOT about Tucker, it was about Benson basically avoiding a demotion.

He's all man up, woman and she does
I don't know what Guest Reviewer is made of, but I'm tellin' ya, if RJB/Ed Tucker tells me to man up, I'm doing it. Would you like for us to see OMB as some sort of asexual being with no capability to be attracted to someone? She could have gone to IAB, called Tucker, or asked him to come to the precinct; instead, she opted for a more social setting. I don't think that was an accident. The writers were dropping clues that there was something more personal in the works there and SHE chose the venue which means SHE was the assertive one in that instance.

and then months later he's on her back for manning up far too much - and she relents again.
I'm not sure which episode this is referring to. Community Policing? No. Townhouse? No. Collateral Damages? I don't think so. Manhattan Transfer? Maybe? But...HE TOLD HER TO STAY OUT OF IT. Unholiest Alliance? If the Guest's comment is about the wine scene at the end...Guest apparently didn't pick up on OMB's alarming reliance on late night imbibing AND the not-so-subtle fact that in UA she and Tucker were in bars, like, all the fucking time! If the writers have to spell out every little detail, each episode would be Gone With the Wind Length which even the most fervent Die Hard might find tedious. You'll have to wait for my Truce chapter addressing the scene and its aftermath, but I, for one, am glad she relented. It's better than having a scene with Noah sobbing his eyes out while Mommy is passed out on the couch surrounded by empty Chianti bottles.

They're both so unrecognisable now. I hope this ship crashes into rocks, preferably very soon and with fatalities…
Of course they're different. One would hope so. People grow and change according to circumstance and experience. We don't know much about Tucker, but both their core identities remain the same--just presented through a different lens. If Guest was a true fan of the show and of OMB, Guest would not wish for her happiness to crash into rocks.

I'm looking forward to S18 and seeing MH play these "new beats" as a more balanced, family-oriented OMB. Sure, that may entail some heartache and growing pains, but all signs point to #Tuckson as the new reality for her. Get on the ship or stay on shore, Guest. Also, if you're not into the pairing there's really no need to further upset your life by reading #Tuckson fic.