18.13 (IS this thirteen? It is, right?)

**I have not seen the episode. These are educated guesses.
**Updates and self-evaluation is in blue.

The Recap:

A young woman, Jessica, is shoved into her car after her shift at a bar, raped, and after a not-so-difficult search for the perp, the squad arrests Nick Brown who doesn’t appear at all surprised that the cops have come for him because he’s been waiting his whole life to commit this crime and be arrested for it. Huh? So there isn’t much investigating to do because the perp admits it and most of the show gets thrown into the courtroom where a series of defense witnesses bolster Nick's claim that he is not responsible for the crime due to genetic defect and also, no surprise Rick Eid, the victim had a few after-work shots and wasn't exactly sober and admitted to flirting with Nick earlier anyway and Jessica's admission that she bats an eyelash every once in a while turns into a character assassination. The most disturbing testimony comes from (DR) who presents junk science research in such a convincing and articulate manner that members of the jury seem to be buying in to his theory of a "rape gene" which, he argues, should be treated as a mental illness. Despite knowing better, Benson doubts herself and doubts Noah and imagines the rest of her life as one gigantic futile effort to combat what biology has already predisposed which sends her into Lindstrom’s office once again. The jury returns with a split verdict—not guilty on the rape but guilty on some lesser charges. The rapist ends up with probation and SVU continues its mission to trash victims, apologize for perps, and generally undermine and destroy everything the franchise has stood for in the past seventeen seasons. 

I wasn't totally off here, but we did get those clips. Nick's trial was actually Sam's trial. Instead of the Doctor there was the Internet Preacher and Jessica was not accused of being drunk and flirtatious but how would we know since we never see her again after she talks to Benson at the hospital. Benson's gene-agony wasn't just about Noah, but mostly about Noah because all of this rapist gene talk gets her thinking about her own personal lifelong struggle to reconcile carrying around her father's DNA, and Lindstrom, who is significantly less creepy than I remember him, sets, or, tries to set her straight. There is a trial, but the bogus rape gene isn't on trial. The courtroom drama begins first with a Judge stretching the First Amendment to its breaking point with the clergy-congregant-in-a-warehouse privilege ruling which I thought Barba expertly refuted. I mean, his expressions alone should've counted for something, right? the reasonable doubt comes from (no shocker here) imperfect victims until finally not-a-rapist-Will testifies against Sam and I assume we get a guilty verdict but we didn't see the jury come back because Benson had to get a call from Noah's school on the courthouse steps. In the end, this Eidisode turned out to be not really about genetics but about a phony, misguided man of God with inordinate influence over Will, a whole lot of close-ups on Benson's tormented (and tired-looking) face, and another "fuck you" to the victim.

Ramblings:

Why do I keep watching this show?

That was the question in my mind throughout the whole hour and double time during commercials. I mean…instead of coming up with nuanced stories and layered characters, each script seems to be doggedly pursuing the “let’s see how un-SVU-like we can make this show and its characters and also let's see how much we can taunt survivors and throw their experiences in their faces and maybe if we push hard enough we can trigger 'em all and also people on Twitter please shut up because you know nothing and Rick knows everything” theme of Season Eidteen.

This episode was not only disgusting, it highlighted how far out of character Benson and company are being written. Let’s start with OMB, shall we?

At the very least she was troubled by this defense. There were several classic OMB WTF faces and eye rolls and she and Barba were genuinely flabbergasted at how the case unfolded and at how the jury seemed to be responding to the "experts" the defense put on the stand. Barba was all like...this goes against all common sense and all ideals of humanity, the jury has to see through it. 

Wrong-o.

Call me overly critical, but Barba concluding that the rapist support group, on paper, had its merits was a head-scratcher and I was happy to hear OMB refute it and make the point that the group had the potential to rationalize and legitimize their crimes, but then the subject just kind of went away. This is a recurring problem with these episodes. Yes, the Julie Martin 42 Minute Rule will always apply, but this whole season reeks of poor decision making. At 9:13 we cut to the second commerical break and every scene, other than the rape, was completely pointless. We didn't need to see Rodney at the bar and we didn't need to see him confront Jessica outside of the bar. WE KNEW IT WASN'T ABOUT HIM. So there's what...eight minutes of lost time right there? This translates to potentially powerful chunks of episodes left unexplored. Namely, the chunk about THE VICTIM! This episode could have toggled back and forth between Jessica's early healing and the legal process. Sometimes shitty things happen in the course of getting justice, and what a perfect time to explore this agony from the victim's perspective. You can still defend your rapists, Rick, because obviously there are more people like you out there in the world, but let's be evenhanded about it and show how repulsive that side of humanity really is. 

But FFS….at the risk of being too crass, GET THE FUCK OVER IT, BENSON! The conversation with Lindstrom was almost the exact conversation she had with him at the beginning of Intimidation Game. Noah is a little boy. Little boys play rough and hurt themselves and act like little boys…that doesn’t mean Noah is destined to be the second coming of Johnny D (and if she really worries about this I question whether or not she really should have adopted him in the first place; such a tragedy to raise a child whose future you don't 100% believe in).

Olivia Benson KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS. Her very existence PROVES it! How many times must the Lieutenant (who knows better…did I already say that?) second guess herself or her parenting. I mean, damn, you already gave up the shot to give Noah a Daddy and give yourself a stable, loving relationship; if you’re that worried about Noah maybe you SHOULD just retire and home school him and keep him in the apartment forever and ever…does it seem like I’m upset with OMB? Because I am. Dear Mr. Nick/Rick why are you ruining my most favorite character in the history of Earth?

So, along the lines of Tucker because I can never let this go, I was hoping and begging to hear OMB say something about the break up in the Lindstrom session. After all, she’d been in a relationship with him for eight months Julie Martin time. They went to Paris together. I know the intent of S18 is to erase all the characters’ past histories but still…obviously OMB still has feelings and emotions, right? No regret? No disappointment that she couldn’t bring herself to commit to the relationship? NOTHING????

Maybe I was too harsh on Benson, but also maybe I'm still thinking about her saying goodnight to Noah and my heart has softened a bit. But seriously. Is she going to allow herself to freak out about every little hint of misbehavior from her son? If so, buckle up sister. But what really pisses me off is that we're getting an incredibly weird portrait of an OMB who has apparently lost all self-confidence and optimism. That last tear-filled glance at Noah was loaded with pity and fear. (LINDSTROM, WE NEED ANOTHER NECKLACE). Parents agonize over decisions and worry about making mistakes that may have long-term damaging consequences, but Benson apparently throwing in the towel and giving in to the concept that Noah will have to struggle with his genes for the rest of her life like she did is a) an issue I thought we'd put to rest and b) unfair to that little boy. So, Noah will have to deal with whatever comes up as far as his biology is concerned but also with a mother who has been down a similar path and instead of raising him with optimism is constantly moaning, "yeah this sucks," "I love you NO MATTER WHAT," and waiting for their world to come crashing down.

Sure woulda been nice to see Tucker there with her, but let's not reopen old wounds. 

Ain't No Party Like an #SVU Party: 

What I'm drinking right now. Tomorrow's libations still TBD.

Ahhhhh, that's more like it.

Fashion:

As usual, Benson’s blazer game makes me seethe with envy but Rollins’ trench coats are coming in at a close second.

Barba, you so fine in your three-piece-suits.

I give myself at A+ for this section.

Quotable:

I’m always glad when Carmen shows up with “excuse me, Mr. Barba?” Ok, the line was actually "Sorry to interrupt."

"I don't care about Barba." I call bullshit.

"Yeah, sure, you want us to send her flowers, too?" #RollinsSass

"Did you turn into your father...your strength, moral compass, and belief systems are more powerful than your father's DNA." Even Lindstrom's had enough of this bullshit beating a dead horse.

Is it next Wednesday yet?

Still waiting for…Barba’s secret, episodes that don’t jump back and forth in time all over each other, Fin’s grandson, Declan (just a mention), why it was so complicated, Tuckson, a S19 renewal, a S19 renewal with a new showrunner, Warren Leight’s new project, a Kim update, a Jesse update, and some sort of redeeming quality in this disaster of a season not necessarily in that order.

Thank you and goodnight.

Is it just me or did Carisi get a little too worked up at the end there? I mean, he was pretty chill throughout the whole episode and then he excoriates Barba because the ADA didn't take his suggestion to use a case from Delware to challenge the motion to suppress. When exactly did that Barisi convo take place? More importantly, where exactly did it take place 😉😉😉? Or maybe Sonny has had enough of Barba's condescending thank you, Carisis.

Speeeeeaaaaaking of having had enough. I know Eid wasn't the only writer on this ep, but his misogynistic hand prints were everywhere and the "rapist support group" was overkill. I honestly did not think that scene was ever going to end, I felt sick, and I'm surprised Rick didn't give himself a cameo in that particular spot just so he could personally hammer home the point that rapists are misunderstood and need guidance and, oh, for some of them it's not their fault anyway.

Congratulations, NBC. You just aired the most shameful and irredeemable episode of SVU's history. Maybe you should pluck Unstoppable off the shelves after all?